Daniel Day-Lewis once said: “There must’ve been some part of me that wanted to make my mark. But there was never a defining moment.”
Firmly ensconced in the history books, the deafening roar of 1,500 Lions faithful still echoes in my ears nearly two decades later. Following seasons of near misses, all that stood between an undefeated Yeshiva League championship season and our MTA varsity basketball team (a team I coached for 16 years in a previous time), was one made free throw and 12 ticks of the clock. Our star point guard stepped up to the free throw line in preparation for the defining moment, now eternally etched in our collective memories.
Sports often serves as a metaphor for life, where seeking and seizing defining moments often separates success from failure, purpose from purposelessness and at times even a life well lived from a life squandered.
The 2012 Siyum Hashas was where I was zocheh to benefit from another defining moment that would significantly alter my path for the better. Life’s twists and turns amidst the early years of business travel and raising a family sent my spiritual raft adrift, resulting in my perceived disconnect from passionate Yiddishkeit. Hashgachah pratis (divine providence) and an invitation from my father placed me amongst MetLife Stadium’s 90,000 attendees who gathered on that sweltering August evening to celebrate the monumental accomplishment of the Daf Yomi faithful.
As the famed Rabbi Yissocher Frand ascended the podium, little did I know that a life altering moment awaited. Rabbi Frand spoke about the Bas Kol (heavenly voice) that lurks in everyone’s mind asking what we are doing to strengthen our relationship with Hashem. He explained how success in anything valuable in life requires a plan. Just as starting a business requires a business plan and building a house requires a blueprint, so too answering the call of the Bas Kol requires a plan.
Rabbi Frand suggested that everyone embark on a Daf Yomi commitment. Increasingly lowering the bar, he then suggested Amud Yomi, or Mishnah Berurah Yomi or even a Mishnah a day. Finally Rabbi Frand passionately uttered the line that would become my defining moment. “But something a day!”
That sentence pierced my soul as I instantly internalized that a relationship requires mutual effort and if I do “nothing a day” it was not realistic to expect a meaningful relationship with Hashem. Hashem constantly sends us messages throughout life, opportunities for defining moments; it’s up to us to receive them.
Rabbi Frand ignited my internal flame inspiring my path towards a more meaningful Judaism. Daf Yomi paved the way for early morning chaburas, chavrutas, daily minyan attendance and a ticket to the inspirational tables of my numerous rebbeim who have significantly altered my life course for the better.
To be clear, a spiritual novice I remain, following many and leading few. The spiritual climb is never ending, peaks and valleys are aplenty. Meaningful spiritual growth is a lifelong journey, one that is never too late to undertake. The path is paved with opportunities for defining moments never to be squandered.
An inspired Ba’al Teshuva that I was privileged to meet recently sent me a profound cartoon depicting an arrow ascending a stair with the words “this might seem scary.” Following was a picture of two similar sets of stairs depicting a person sitting on the same exact stair one year apart. Alongside the last two sets of stairs were the words “but this is much worse.” While growth might appear daunting, the tragedy lies in a lack thereof. Opportunities for defining moments present themselves at all ages and stages; it’s never too late to seize them.
In his new “Sefer Lahavos Aish,” HaGoan Rav Yisrael Meir Druck shares a remarkable insight on the power of a moment. While there are several answers suggested for the question of what exactly Yisro heard that inspired him to join the Jewish people in converting to Judaism, Rav Druck focuses on a lesser known opinion of Rabi Eliezer Hamodai as taught in Gemara Zevachim. Rabi Eliezer Hamodai says Yitro was inspired when he heard about the giving of the Torah.
According to Rabi Hamodai, the miracles of Yetzias Mitzrayim and Kriyas Yam Suf on their own failed to inspire Yitro as he believed that his life of idol worship rendered him unfit of benefiting from such awe inspiring miracles. However when he realized that the Jewish people were worthy of the highest level of receiving the Torah a mere 49 days after being ensconced in the lowest levels of impurity in Egypt, he recognized that he too could seize his defining moment to reconstruct his life for the better.
Jon Gordon once said: “failure often serves as a defining moment, a crossroads on the journey of your life. It gives you a test designed to measure your courage, perseverance, commitment, and dedication. Are you a pretender who gives up after a little adversity or a contender who keeps getting up after getting knocked down?”
Perhaps the greatest lesson is that while our defining moments inspire necessary growth and change, they fall short of the ultimate destination.
Returning to another time, our point guard stood ready for our greatest moment. The climb took years and our group’s near misses were aplenty. As the ball soared through the air and dropped through the net, the capacity crowd exploded into a frenzy. Defining moment seized, undefeated champions at last!
In our greatest moment it dawned on me. In sports, as in life, there are wins, losses, laughs, tears, ups, downs, climbs and falls. In the greatest glory of rising again to fight another day the ultimate truth is revealed. It is not about the trophy or standing on the mountaintop. In a life well lived, the journey itself is the reward.
Daniel Gibber is a longtime resident of Teaneck and is a VP of Sales at Deb El Food Products. In addition to learning as much Torah as he can, he is also privileged to speak periodically on the topic of emunah and be involved in Jewish outreach through Olami Manhattan. He can be reached at: [email protected]
