I am an extreme extravert—the type of person who gains most of my energy and happiness through socializing with others. Once the effects of social distancing became ubiquitous, I had a mini panic attack. Although I was obviously nervous about the medical implications of this pandemic, I was equally nervous about how the isolation would impact my mental health. How could I possibly stay in my apartment day after day with no end in sight? How could I get my social needs met with no face-to-face contact with others? How could I not go stir-crazy?

I crave community and love going to shul. As soon as the news spread that shuls in Teaneck were closing, I and many of my friends and family members could not imagine what Shabbat would be like without shul or joining friends and family for meals. I love Shabbat and usually want to prolong it because right after Havdalah I need to “get back to the real world.” The idea of social distancing on Shabbat seemed unbearable, especially at the inopportune time when daylight savings kicked in. With my husband and I working and raising a 9-month-old, we are busy during the week and got most of our socializing on Shabbat. We thrive off of hosting meals and parties. Unfortunately, it seemed inevitable that this wonderful part of our marriage would be gone for the time being.

What did not help me feel better about this terrible new way of living was some of the social-media buzz. Countless Facebook friends described how isolation has negatively impacted their lives. Parents described how they felt drained taking care of their children while working full time. Some with histories of trauma described how social distancing caused re-experiencing symptoms. Some sought reassurance from others, asking if it is ok to leave the house and children and escape to the car for a bit. I made light of the situation and posted a picture of my husband working in our small walk-in-closet, so he could stay focused without his attention-seeking wife (me) and daughter distracting him.

The implications of COVID-19 are indeed troublesome. Obviously, social distancing creates real challenges for everyone that I am not trying to minimize. Unfortunately, there some individuals in extremely difficult situations at home who view social distancing as making things worse than before. Whether they are in an abusive relationship or in the middle of a divorce, this isolation exacerbates the pain. Despite this horrible reality, it is clear that there are many venues for support. Telehealth is more accessible than ever before. Before COVID-19, people did not appear to be as publicly vulnerable with their feelings and experiences. I believe it has become more socially acceptable to discuss these intimate and vulnerable matters, and this should be encouraging to society at large.

Despite the negativity surrounding COVID-19, after a week of experiencing this new way of living I can report that in some ways I am happier than ever. I was hyperaware of the negative effects that social distancing could have on me and took action immediately to protect my mental health. Contacting friends who I haven’t been in touch with for a long time got my extraverted juices flowing. Bonding over the effects of the pandemic and this unusual way of living united me with people in ways that would not have happened otherwise. We shared tips on how to pass the time: Doing do-it-yourself (DIY) projects, learning a new musical instrument, doing an indoor photoshoot, writing letters to those sick and lonely, making creative masks out of underwear or constantly having Zoom up and running helped many pass time outside of work hours. For those who are usually away at work for hours on end and mainly get quality family time during weekends, social distancing is in some ways an irreplaceable bonding experience. Some have shared with me that they actually for the first time met family members living abroad via videoconferencing, family that they would otherwise never have met.

For the first time in our marriage, my husband and I had the Seder alone. We were extremely reluctant to do this, but understood this was a necessary precaution. To spice things up, we had a Seder on the floor under a blanket fort. This type of Seder ambiance is what I was yearning for because I envisioned that this set-up most closely resembled life for the Jews in Mitzrayim (not to mention that it will be super fun). However, a blanket fort with the whole mishpacha would be logistically disastrous. In addition to creating the Seder set-up, I was happy to participate more. Although I am extraverted, I am not frequently the type to speak over others. For the first time ever, my husband and I will discussed my father-in-law’s Pesach discussion questions. We then joined together as a family (via Zoom) on Sunday to discuss our responses.

I, like many, never made much use of FaceTime, Zoom, Skype, Google Hangouts etc. before COVID-19. I just didn’t think that these modalities were worth exploring because there was usually the option of having the interaction be face to face. The truth is, there were countless times that I never made the effort to reach out to people because I just assumed or hoped that there would be a more convenient time to see them in person in the future.

I predict that after this worldwide crisis subsides, I, along with many others, will continue to use videoconferencing modalities because they create more opportunities and possibilities. I know of many women and children participating in Zoom Kabbalat Shabbat, though they would have never physically gone to shul on Friday night if this were a possibility. I can now be in more consistent contact with friends and family who live far away. I can have game nights during the week with friends and family members who live far away, or even close by and we are all just too lazy to physically congregate. My patients may no longer be compelled to cancel appointments because of transportation issues or weather conditions. Life does indeed get in the way of doing things we want to do, but videoconferencing can sometimes open more doors. If I have gained anything positive from COVID-19 it is that I can still feel connected and actually enhance relationships when in physical isolation.

Samantha Schulman, PsyD is a licensed psychologist specializing in both cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and practices in Wyckoff, New Jersey. She can be reached at [email protected].