Highlighting: “My Parents and Me: Heartwarming Stories for Teens” by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman. ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications. 2022. Hardcover. 242 pages. ISBN #: 9781422632284.

Your new book teaches children the values of kibud av va’eim through the format of stories. Why did you choose that format? What’s the power of a story?

Rabbi Shimon Finkelman: Even adults find stories captivating. All the stories in this book are true. True stories about kibud av va’eim show children (and adults) how the mitzvah should and can be done, and how all kinds of Jews cherished this all-important mitzvah.

Is it particularly challenging to instill kibud av va’eim into today’s young people? Any tips or guidance to help parents?

Yes it’s hard, because in the world we live in, there is a general lack of respect, and this has a way of filtering into the frum community. As far as tips, Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein and other gedolim have said that when parents show great respect for one another, the children generally show respect for them. My parents, a”h, taught kibud av va’eim that way and also in another way: by showing incredible respect and concern for their own parents.

What are some of the messages of the many stories you included?

When we help our parents, we are really helping ourselves. A person should look for opportunities to do this great mitzvah, because how we treat our parents is very often how our children will treat us. Parents and grandparents appreciate small gestures such as a letter, a phone call, even a “Thank you”!—and much, much more.

Do you have a personal favorite among the stories?

That’s a tough question. Here are few in brief: The story of Shaya Alpert a”h, a young bachur who gave his mother all the money he had earned on Erev Pesach so that she could buy herself a dress for Yom Tov; how a boy’s life was saved during the Holocaust—before or because?—he risked his life to bring his father his tefillin; how Rabbi Dovid Trenk gave chizuk to a talmid who was helping his father in his store… there are many more.

What else is included in the book?

About one-quarter of the book is a section on the halachos of kibud av va’eim for teen readers, together with stories to illustrate the halachos.

• • • • •

The following is a fantastic story from the new book:

Not for All the Money in the World

The phone rang in the home of Shlomo Simcha Sufrin, a popular singer who lives in Toronto and is known as Shlomo Simcha.

“Shlomo Simcha,” the caller said, “my name is Chezky Stein* and I’m a chassan. I’m getting married on Lag B’Omer and I would like to hire you to sing at my wedding.”

Shlomo Simcha checked his calendar; he had not yet been hired to sing on that night. “That date is open,” he told Chezky. “I’ll be happy to sing at your wedding.” They agreed on a price. Then Shlomo Simcha wrote down where the wedding would take place and what time he was supposed to be there.

The next day, Shlomo Simcha received a phone call from an old customer. “Shlomo Simcha, this is Daniel Miller.* Well, you sang at the weddings of our other sons, and now our youngest son is getting married. The wedding will be on Lag B’Omer.”

Mr. Miller was a very wealthy man, and Shlomo Simcha knew that he would pay him a lot more money than Chezky Stein had agreed to pay. But that made no difference. “I’m really sorry, Mr.

Miller, but I can’t sing at your son’s wedding. I already agreed to sing at someone else’s wedding on that same night.”

Mr. Miller was quiet for a few moments. “I’ll tell you what,” he finally said, “tell the other fellow that I’ll give him $3,000 if he’ll allow you to sing at my son’s wedding.”

Shlomo Simcha called the chassan. “I’m sorry,” Chezky said, “but I don’t agree to this deal. I still want you to sing at my wedding.”

But Mr. Miller was not ready to give up. When Shlomo Simcha told him what Chezky had said, Mr. Miller replied, “Tell him that I’ll give him $5,000.”

Chezky still would not agree to release Shlomo Simcha from their agreement. When Mr. Miller heard this, he said, “Tell him that I’ll give him $10,000.”

Chezky did not agree.

This time Mr. Miller said, “Look, you sang at the weddings of all my other sons and it added so much to the wedding. We want the same for this son. Tell that fellow that he should name his price. I will give whatever amount of money he wants so that he will allow you to sing at my son’s wedding.”

When Shlomo Simcha told this to Chezky, he was amazed at his reply. “There is no amount of money that would cause me to release you from our agreement. I want you to sing at my wedding.”

“That’s fine,” Shlomo Simcha said, “I’ll sing at your wedding. But if you don’t mind my asking, why is it so important to you that I should sing at your wedding? Wouldn’t it make more sense to take all this money he’s offering you and hire another singer for your wedding?”

This was Chezky’s answer:

“My father took ill many years ago and is disabled. All these years, my mother raised us, took care of my father, and also earned money to support the family.

“When I got engaged and we started to plan the wedding, my mother commented, ‘It would be so nice if Shlomo Simcha could sing at your wedding.’ That’s why I hired you. I hired you because that is what my mother wanted. By having you sing at my wedding, I’m expressing my hakaras hatov for all that my mother did for all of us all these years.

“And that’s why no amount of money can make me change my mind.”

Shlomo Simcha was touched by this young man’s words. What a beautiful way to show appreciation to a very special mother.