On a Friday afternoon in March, just before sunset, a small flame was kindled that warmed not only our Shabbos table, but our hearts as well. Our granddaughter, Riley, celebrated her first licht bentching—lighting her own Shabbos candle on the occasion of her third birthday. This is a beloved Chabad custom that marks a milestone in a young Jewish girl’s life, when she joins generations of Jewish women in ushering in the peace and kedusha of Shabbos with light.
Our daughter-in-law, Gabby, a beloved teacher at Lubavitch on the Palisades, shared her excitement with her coworkers in the days leading up to the event. Her colleagues were thrilled to hear that her daughter would be taking part in this special minhag. For them, this wasn’t just a sweet milestone—it was a meaningful expression of Jewish continuity, the kind of quiet, powerful moment that affirms everything they teach and live.
Although my husband and I aren’t Lubavitch ourselves, Chabad’s influence runs deep in our lives. Both my husband and I became frum through the warmth and guidance of Chabad—he at Binghamton and I at Rutgers. We lovingly adopted this tradition for our daughters when they were little girls, drawn to the beauty and power of inviting them to take part in bringing Shabbos light into our home.
Now, watching our granddaughter take her place by the candles, her little fingers carefully covering her eyes as she recited the bracha, the moment felt nothing short of sacred. She was surrounded by generations of women—aunts, grandmothers, and even two great-grandmothers, k”h, all gathered to celebrate with her. To make the circle of generations complete, I held up a photo of my own late mother, ensuring that she, too, was part of this special moment.
In a world that often moves too fast, pausing to watch our 3-year-old granddaughter light her very first Shabbos candle reminds us what truly matters. It was more than just a birthday celebration—it was a link in the unbroken chain of Jewish women, a flame passed from mother to daughter across generations.
And as that small flame flickered and danced in her eyes, the whole room was full of warmth and love and hope.
Heather Benjamin is a wife, mother and bubbie whose greatest joy comes from her family. She is the chair of the history department at Yeshiva University High School for Boys, where her love for connecting with the past inspires her to help students develop a deeper appreciation for history.
