We all know there are certain times during davening we take the liberty to talk; I’m no exception. Although we try our best, we sometimes forget where we are and feel the urge to speak to a friend in shul. One part of the service that has really touched my heart is the “Keil Molah” that is said for a person’s yahrzeit.

It was April 2017 that changed my entire perspective about “Keil Molah.”

Growing up, we have all seen someone stand by the bima holding a Sefer Torah and reciting the “Keil Molah,” for someone who has passed. I will never stop thinking about Mr. Stuart Katz, a”h. The Rabbi at the Chabad in Boynton Beach, where I regularly daven during the winter, sent out an urgent appeal for funds to bury a fellow Jew. Many of us reached out to the rabbi, as I did. While speaking with the rabbi, I asked for whom he was collecting funds. The rabbi explained it was for an elderly gentleman I knew, who was always the first in shul and would fold every tallis neatly before everyone arrived on Shabbos. I recall saying “Good Shabbos” to him every week, but we never really had any conversations beyond a cordial greeting. His regular Shabbos seat was always behind the bima and diagonally across from where I sat. When shul kiddush started, he would get a full plate of food and go back to his seat in shul, quietly eating.

At the beginning of the 2017 winter season, when I went to Chabad, I almost didn’t recognize Mr. Katz. He had lost a fair amount of weight, which was strikingly noticeable. I recall thinking, perhaps I could ask him how he lost all the weight without being too nosy. Let’s face it: We could all benefit from losing some weight and improving our health. I decided not to ask him any questions.

The rabbi told me he received a call from the Sheriff’s department stating that he believed that he found one of the Chabad congregants dead in his car. After hearing all of this from the rabbi, of course I contributed to the burial fund. I felt bad that in all the years that I greeted Mr. Katz, a”h, on Shabbos, I never took extra time to get to know him better. I was also told that he was estranged from his family.

I cannot adequately describe the feeling I had when I heard this. My heart sank and I had to fight back tears. I asked the rabbi: Who will say Kaddish for him? The rabbi explained we could pay someone in Israel who says Kaddish. My first thought was that the person in Israel is most likely saying Kaddish for many people. The next day, I called Rabbi Sholom Ciment and told him that since I go to shul twice a day, every day, I would say Kaddish for Mr. Katz for the next 11 months, which I did. This was my way of honoring a fellow Jew who fell on hard times, who I never got to know. I still feel guilty I never helped him or invited him for meals.

Stuart Katz, a”h was flown up to New York and buried in Chesed Shel Emes Cemetery in Woodridge. This is a Jewish burial society for those who have no one and no resources, www.chesedshelemes.com

I’ve been saying Kaddish for Mr. Katz, a”h every year since 2017. What bothers me most, as a result of my experience, is that congregants in shuls I’ve attended feel it’s appropriate to talk while someone is pouring out their heart for a family member or friend, while reading the “Keil Molah.” I used to be one of those who spoke in shul during a “Keil Molah”; this all changed for me because of Mr. Stuart Katz.

I ask all who read this article to think about those who are being remembered by family or friends with this very short prayer,“Keil Molah.”Please take it upon yourself to be silent for those who are no longer with us.

Yahrzeit: April 27, 2017 – Rosh Chodesh Iyar, 1

Hebrew Name: Shlomo Yaakov Ben Tzvi Hirsch HaKohein a”h

Burial: Chesed Shel Emes Cemetery Plot G7, 113 Old Turnpike, Woodridge, NY.

Leslie Srolovits is a retired banking and technology officer of JPMorgan Chase and Capital One. He can be reached at [email protected]