I know that we should not judge others, even when they are doing something that is the antithesis of what every medical expert says should be done during the days of COVID. Yet it seems to me that what one does in their own environment is their own business, but what they do in public is something else.

What each of us decides to do with regard to seeing friends and visiting with family is a very personal decision. Yet what we have experienced over the past few weeks has been deeply disturbing and shocking.

We have been blessed in the past three weeks with two new great-grandchildren (not twins), one born to our granddaughter and her husband and one to our grandson and his wife. Keeping in mind that we both had the virus and have been tested for antibodies several times and still maintain a high level, we decided that we would drive to Lakewood to see our new blessings.

On our first visit we decided that it would be a nice treat for our granddaughter and her husband for us to bring them lunch. After attempting to enter three stores, each crowded with customers not wearing masks, standing side by side, we decided that buying food in Lakewood was not something we wished to do. Not only were the stores crowded, but we noted that the people behind the counters preparing the food were wearing neither gloves nor masks.

My first reaction was that Lakewood, because it is in Monmouth County, must be under a different set of rules than Bergen County. In order to quell my curiosity, as soon as I got home I checked and found out that the COVID rules that Governor Murphy has enacted are for the entire state.

So who is enforcing this? Should they be fining the entire town? I can only repeat the words of a friend from Montreal, whose grandson was being married in Lakewood to a girl from Montreal. When I questioned why Lakewood had been chosen for the wedding, her response was, “There is no COVID in Lakewood and they can make a regular wedding there.” Clearly there is a misunderstanding somewhere.

Early this morning we set out for another Lakewood visit. Today we celebrated the brit of our newest great-grandson, Shmuel Aryeh. Our grandson Hillel learns at BMG and the brit took place at the shul where he davens. As we drove up, my Mordechai noted that we would likely be the only ones wearing masks. Our granddaughter Adina flew in from Chicago and she said that in Chicago everyone wears a mask. When we arrived, she was totally in shock. With the exception of very, very few people, the majority of those coming and going from different minyanim and those who attended the brit were not wearing masks.

So my question is how one determines which halachot are important. The men and women at the seudah were separated by a major mechitzah. It would have been difficult to find a man not wearing a hat. I can assure you that the milk and any other dairy products being served were chalav Yisrael. Many of these things are not halachot. Yet they must be done. What makes the laws of dina de-malchuta dina (the laws of the land are the law) not apply to certain people? I really wish that someone could give me a real explanation.

Have these people not seen the depths of tragedy from this plague? Many in their community have died or have been permanently disabled by the amount of time that they spent on life support. I just don’t get it.

I am frightened for my grandchildren who live there and saddened that everyone is acting oblivious to the possibilities of what could be. We are all privileged to live in this country and choosing not to abide by the laws that have been enacted to protect us is way beyond my understanding and has to be against the ways of the Torah.

Nina Glick lives in Bergenfield with her husband, Rabbi Mordechai Glick, after many years of service to the Montreal Jewish community. Nina coordinated all Yachad activities in Montreal and was a co/founder of Maison Shalom, a group home for special needs young adults. She can be reached at [email protected].