Thursday, October 06, 2022

I am writing concerning the article by Rabbi Yair Hoffman in last week’s Jewish Link (“Remarriages: A Halachic Overview,” July 28, 2022).

Let me start off by saying that I am not criticizing the information in Rabbi Hoffman’s article, as I have no reason to doubt its accuracy. I am merely stating that the way it was presented was insensitive to those who have either gone through remarriage or are children of parents who remarried.

If Rabbi Hoffman wanted to encourage remarriage, that’s certainly within his right. However, the subheadline “Forbidden to Remain Single” in bold typeface is something that I wish hadn’t been printed.
Simply put, remarriage is not always a good thing. I’m sure some people reading this are in remarriages that they are happy with, and maybe even their children are happy as well. That’s great and I am happy for those people. However, many remarriages are anything but great, and can be very harmful to anyone involved (parents and children).

To put in bold “Forbidden to Remain Single” creates pressure for the non-remarried reader to get married. However, some non-remarried readers may be better off not getting remarried due to their age, economic status and/or willingness to put in the effort to make remarriage work.

Marriage requires a ton of effort to make it work. Remarriage requires even more work as it often is two families attempting to function as one. “Forbidden to Remain Single”? I politely and strongly disagree.

Name withheld upon request
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