Like fish who take water for granted because it’s the only environment they know, the Stamford Jewish community could be forgiven if it assumed that every community was overflowing with as much warmth and kindness. Take meal trains. Of course these are nothing new. But it came to the notice of the rebbetzins of the three Orthodox shuls in Stamford that some meal trains were oversubscribed and ran on for months, while others were sparsely subscribed. People with lots of friends had no trouble getting support, while others, perhaps newer to the community or simply not in “the thick of things,” received less attention. Unbelievably, one of these rebbetzins heard of the surprising experience of someone delivering a meal to a new mother several weeks after giving birth, only to find the recipient herself out delivering a meal to yet another friend who had had a baby even more recently!

Rebbetzins Leah Shemtov of Chabad of Stamford, Diane Cohen of Congregation Agudath Sholom and Naomi Kohl of Young Israel of Stamford put their heads together to figure out how to encourage people to share the chesed more equitably. To continue the beautiful tradition of helping one another, community members have been asked to keep these points in mind:

1. Meal trains should be set up for no more than one month, barring extenuating circumstances.
2. When a meal train is for an unknown recipient, people are encouraged to sign up—it might lead to a new friendship.
3. If anyone is in need, he or she is encouraged to communicate with any of the rebbetzins; also if they know of someone in need. Meal trains for anonymous recipients can also be arranged.
4. For Shabbat dinners, people are encouraged to team up with friends to make it more manageable.

People are encouraged to participate even if they don’t keep a strictly kosher kitchen by ordering food from kosher outlets, of which there are several now in Stamford.

To facilitate communication, a new WhatsApp chat was established within the Stamford Jewish Community WhatsApp chat umbrella, called “Stamford Meal Trains.” The guidelines and a link for joining are published regularly in the shul bulletins. The WhatsApp group has become the preferred vehicle for communicating new meal trains rather than various other specialized chats (as, e.g., women’s groups), so that everyone, male and female, young and old alike, has a chance to be informed and participate. Chabad has also kindly offered its kitchen for food prep with advance notice.

By providing leadership and guidelines, these three rebbetzins make it possible for everyone to pitch in without the burden falling too heavily on just a few.

Shemtov observed that “Stamford is unusual in that there is a lot of crossover among the shuls and across the many local Jewish organizations,” which makes for strong community ties and a general eagerness to step up for each other. Since Purim, meal trains have been set up for a good nine families, in the wake of both births and recovery from illness. One recipient, who could probably speak for all of them, said that the meal train his family received in the wake of a new baby “has been extraordinary and so exemplary of the generosity of this community.”