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October 16, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Dilemmas Shared By Many

As I returned from Cherry Hill this past Motzei Shabbat, I immediately turned on the radio to keep me company throughout my foggy and rainy ride. I especially like to listen to the report of the traffic conditions and in general find myself to be a “news freak.”

It did not take long after being on the road that one of the first news items was the passing of Pope Benedict XVI at the age of 95. It was not a shock to anyone, as there had been reports for several days indicating his frail condition and imminent demise. He was, as many of you probably know, the first pope who had ever resigned from office. He had stated that he felt he was no longer prepared to make some of the papal decisions that needed to be weighed upon and that his age was getting in the way of his ability to continue successfully.

However he did speak out occasionally and in 2020 he co-wrote a book reaffirming the “necessity” of a celibate priesthood. This occurred at the same time that the present Pope Francis was considering whether or not to allow married men in the Amazon to become priests.

The word “machloket” doesn’t just apply to the Jewish world.

My thoughts about this subject remind me of a dilemma which many of us have to deal with at some time in life and that is presumably, “When is it our time to step down?” This does not only refer to the clergy but to every other profession many of us have worked at for an enormous amount of years.

This very Shabbat, sitting around schmoozing with our grandchildren and many visitors, a discussion took place about the need for the yeshivas and elementary schools to realize that at a certain point, some of the teachers who have devoted their lives to educating our children for many, many years should be asked to retire. I know nothing about the rules here in New Jersey, but I do know that in Montreal the teachers affiliated with Hebrew day schools are members of a union. It would definitely be an issue that would have to be brought before the union if parents felt that a teacher had outstayed his or her welcome.

There are so many vibrant and young teachers and rabbeim available now, who have a difficult time getting their foot in the door due to the old-timers who feel they are greatly needed forever. The truth is that they are amazing, and have been amazing in what they do—but at a certain point, it is enough.

I remember my girls having a teacher in Bais Yaakov where there was a joke as to who was actually older—the lighting fixture in the classroom or the teacher?

Retiring is scary for many, and realizing that it might be the time to take that step is not easy. One of the reasons that we moved to New Jersey is that my beloved Mordechai, who taught various psychology classes for many years in university, felt that he was not the same person as he had been and that his teaching was suffering. I have files and files from students who took the time to send him letters while he was their professor, exclaiming how much they appreciated his style of teaching and what they had gained from being in his classes. Suddenly he realized that he was changing and needed to step down.

As we all know, life is complicated, and making such major changes is not easy. Families are grappling with various individuals, be it parents or spouses, who need to step off the carousel before they fall—and the dilemma is a painful one. It is a hard conversation to have. We were fortunate in that we as a couple agreed as to what we felt was necessary to do. The more I speak with people, the more I see this is not generally the case.

We have friends in Montreal who are still practicing physicians and are well into their 80s. Would I trust them to be my physician? Absolutely. Yet how many young people would consider going to a surgeon who is 83 when they could go to another who is 36? Does their experience override a lapse in judgment while doing a procedure (due to age)? Oy, these are subjects that are too complicated for me to attempt to deal with.

What I have learned is that making a decision to step down, especially if one is well, can open up a world of possibilities and beautiful experiences. The challenges that are faced by others who are not so blessed are painful, but important to be encouraged … and in some cases insisted upon.


Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].

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