March 28, 2024
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Different Strokes For Other Folks

“If your brother becomes impoverished and his hand falters beside you, you shall support him…” (25:35). The midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 34:1) quotes the pasuk in Tehillim (41:2)—“Praiseworthy is the one who contemplates the needy…”—as a means of explaining the aforementioned pasuk. What’s the connection?

Our parsha discusses the mitzvah of shemitah where for an entire year one leaves his field abandoned. This may pose quite a challenge, and thus a significant idea connected to this mitzvah is enhancing our bitachon in Hashem, that He provides for us and we’ll be taken care of despite our lack of input (See Sefer Hachinuch, 84).

Soon after the topic of shemitah we read the pasuk quoted above: “If your brother becomes impoverished….” And once again the question is, what’s the connection between shemitah and this pasuk that comes soon after?

The sefer Kehillat Yitzchak (Parshat Behar) brings a fundamental understanding into the approach we have when relating to ourselves versus when relating to others and through this explains both questions.

Among the many differences between humans and animals, one fundamental difference is that humans were given the power of intellect and understanding. One outcome of that is that whereas animals lack the ability to “pick” what emotion to drive them, a person is able to utilize his intellectual/understanding element to trigger within himself emotions depending on the scenario he may see fit.

Let’s focus on two opposite emotions—worry and contentment—when it comes to parnassah (a person’s livelihood). So some people live totally in the moment; if they got bread for this meal they’re fine, and have no worries about the future. They’re naturally faithful and content, and therefore don’t concern themselves with more than is critically necessary [Type A personality]. However, there are some people who always worry about their livelihood; even if they can put bread on their table, and all their childrens tables, they still think much about the future—what about their grandchildren? [Type B]. Now, such a person’s avodah [personal spiritual mission] may be to work on his bitachon in Hashem. Yet, an interesting dichotomy may occur, for when someone comes to him for help with his livelihood problems, he all of a sudden might turn into the Type A personality—a big “ba’al bitachon”—and thus he reassures the person to trust in Hashem, for after all one’s livelihood is in the hands of Hashem…you have nothing to worry about! But essentially this is backward. In his world, his avodah is to work on his own worries and increase his bitachon. However, when relating to another person’s world who needs his help for his own parnassah, he should employ the concept of worry and concern in order to spur helping him as much as possible.

“If your brother becomes impoverished” comes soon after the topic of shemitah, which underscores the message of enhancing one’s bitachon, to teach that while the mitzvah of shemitah can emphasize the idea to work on bitachon, that’s for you! For your own personal world and how you are to relate to your own affairs. However, when it comes to helping another, when it comes to helping your “needy brother,” bitachon isn’t to override your duty to be concerned about trying to ensure his needs. Indeed, “you shall support him” says the pasuk, and thus by utilizing and channeling the emotion of worry in regard to another person’s needs, this can lead to practically supporting and helping him.

“Praiseworthy is the one who contemplates the needy” comes to explain the pasuk of helping “your impoverished brother,” because one isn’t to be practically passive and simply rely on bitachon in such an instance, but rather is charged to be active—to “contemplate” and ponder, i.e., to utilize his intellectual counterpart to trigger his emotion of concern in order to ultimately be driven to actually help his fellow Jew.

It emerges from here that the way we relate to ourselves may need to be strategically different from how we are to relate to others, even if it’s in regard to the same exact issue or challenge we both may be facing. The same middah that may be considered looked down upon in one’s personal affairs (i.e., worry), may be necessary and highly praiseworthy to utilize for the sake of others people’s challenges. And likewise, the same middah that may be admirable for one to have in his own affairs (i.e., bitachon) may be inappropriate when it comes to the area of helping in other people’s affairs.

Sandwiched within the topic of shemitah the pasuk says “one shouldn’t harass another,” which Rashi explains is referring to verbal harassment. Yet again, what’s the connection between shemitah and this idea that falls right in the middle of it? Rav Moshe Feinstein (“Kol Rom,” Parshat Behar) explains that we know that the Torah (see Rashi 26:1) indicates the punishment for one who violates shemitah (that it can lead to poverty and more). Therefore when a person sees someone who is unsuccessful in his business, he might inform him that he is transgressing the mitzvah of shemitah and that’s why he is in such a state. Therefore, the pasuk comes smack in the middle of shemitah to teach us that relating to another in this way is verbal abuse!

Here too we see that while for one person his avodah may perhaps be to understand the consequences of not keeping shemitah, which may help motivate him to keep the mitzvah, however, when
relating to another person, even if it means trying to help him with this mitzvah and thereby help him with his parnassah, nevertheless this might be more than just inappropriate and can even be a form of verbal abuse.

Indeed, what’s for you may not be for him. Thus we see the necessity of being dual minded and utilizing different mindsets, emotions and approaches for how to relate to others versus ourselves, even on the same exact issue that we both may deal with.

The days of Omer mark the time of the passing of Rabbi Akiva’s students who died because they didn’t treat each other with honor (see Gemara Yevamot 62b). The question is how could such great people not have given each other honor? Based on the above, maybe we can suggest that they knew that one should despise honor, as Pirkei Avot (chp. 4) says that honor removes a person from this world. Hence, perhaps they thought that they therefore shouldn’t give honor to the other since it’s not good for him either! However, the truth may be that your avodah is one thing, but the way you relate to others might be another thing, even in regard to the same issue. Yes, for you, your mission might be to distance yourself from honor. But for other folks, shower them with honor and respect; make them feel great.


Binyamin can be reached at [email protected].

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