There are many unanswered questions about the universe. Why are we here? How did we get here? Is the sun going to destroy the planet? Are plastic bottles going to take over the planet? Is the “Green House” effect really in effect when it was 35 degrees in May? Why do chipmunks enjoy eating my driveway? Why is there always a giant groundhog running through my backyard? Why doesn’t anyone feed those wild turkeys some actual turkey and see what they do?
Really, when you think about it, the questions can drive you crazy. But I have some more. If you have answers, I would like to know what they are. For example: If it only takes 45 minutes to drive to Long Island, why does it take an hour and 45 minutes to drive home? How does Jeeves, my Waze voice, know where I am when I don’t know where I am? And while on the topic of Waze, when it wants to take you from Long Island, through the Midtown Tunnel, through Manhattan, to get back to New Jersey, does anyone ever follow those instructions? I am sorry Jeeves. There is just no way that I am doing that. And when I don’t listen to Jeeves, why does it take me less time to get home the regular way than the way he insisted that I take? And while we are on the subject, why would anyone want to live on Long Island? Okay, I am just kidding. There are many reasons…the food shopping, the clothing stores (if you are less than a size 6…I still have a panic attack when I fondly recall my unsuccessful shopping mission for son #1’s bar mitzvah. Never, and I mean NEVER, go shopping with a friend who has never had a weight problem. They just don’t get it.). Oh, and they have really good restaurants, which is actually surprising because more than half the people who live there don’t eat anything.
I also want to know why students at Yeshiva University have to participate in the mandatory food plan. Yes, I used the word mandatory just so you know that I know that it is mandatory. Have they met my son? He cannot consume that amount of food in two years, let alone one year. So now, because of the “use it or lose it” policy, I am staring at 30 boxes of tissues on my dining room table.
Yes, the questions are never ending. Why can’t my family all like the same baseball team? Or hockey team? Or football team? Why? Why do I have to cook my family dinner every night? Why do my boys leave their laundry under the sink in the bathroom? Do they think that I cannot see it? And why when my sons’ friends come over (and I love them and I will miss them) do they leave their empty pizza box, soda cans and plates all over the place…WHY?????
Sometimes, when I am glancing through Facebook, I will come across a meme. What is a meme? It is a witty expression or quote (I think, what do I know, I am so old that none of my kids’ friends recognize the 80’s music that I use to make my Musically videos. What is Musically? It’s an App…What’s an App? I don’t have all day, sorry.) Anyway, so the meme will say something like “Don’t ask why, it will just make you ask more questions.” And that is so true. Every day we are faced with situations, people and who knows what else that make us ask questions that we will never, and I mean NEVER, have the answers to. Why do people do stupid things? Why can’t I resist buying ice cream on sale? Why can’t I resist eating the ice cream? Why do I buy the ice cream when I shouldn’t be eating it? See? It is endless.
So the next time you want to ask why…take a deep breath, have a drink and bang you head against a wall. It is just as effective!
By Banji Latkin-Ganchrow
Surprisingly, Banji Ganchrow did not major in philosophy. She did, however, have to take an incomplete in Shabbos at Stern College for Women and Others because she failed the class…don’t tell anyone.
