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Tuesday, January 31, 2023
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Want to hear stories with heart-warming life lessons about the parsha of the week?

Beloved pediatrician Dr. Larry Stiefel of Tenafly Pediatrics, known for more than two years as the Maggid of Bergenfield in the pages of the Jewish Link of New Jersey, will be telling his stories from 10am-10pm in the children’s section at Barnes and Noble Booksellers at The Shops at Riverside Mall, every Sunday from now until Pesach. He will also perform rapid strep tests on request.

Humor columnist Banji Ganchrow to introduce Husband #2, #3, #4 and #5 to her column.

In an effort to clear up the misconceptions caused by her reference to her husband as Husband #1 in all her columns, Ganchrow explained that Husbands #2, #3, #4 and #5 are how she refers to people in her life who happen to be husbands, such as her father, her sister’s husband, her dog’s husband and the husband of the nice lady who works at Jet Cleaners on Cedar Lane.

Jewish Link Co-Founder and Publisher to take on additional responsibilities.

Moshe Kinderlehrer, who is credited with the idea for a newspaper covering the observant Jewish community in the first place, will add to his responsibilities as salesman, fireman/security specialist, newspaper deliveryman, public relations representative, and HR manager, by taking on the following roles: sandwich maker, nutritionist, office cleaner, coffee maker, refrigerator repairman, photographer, computer wirer, printer, customer relationship manager and wild animal trainer.

Nina and Rabbi Mordechai Glick are giving up on the neighborhood.

After trying valiantly for two years of writing “New in the Neighborhood” columns, and trying to stay positive about their new home in New Jersey, the couple has decided that, however they try, everything in Montreal was, in a word, better. They intend to leave after Pesach, which invariably would have been better in Montreal, but they need time to throw away everything they acquired in New Jersey. The move will go forward only after they convince their children and grandchildren to let them go.

Oren Oppenheim to take short break.

Seventeen year old Jewish Link columnist Oren Oppenheim, who commutes three hours a day to attend the Ramaz School, and is also involved in 36 different activities at his school, including drama club, chess club, cheese club, chesed club, and a club about how to start clubs. He still also finds time to attend shul at Ahavat Achim in Fair Lawn, take photographs and write freelance articles for the Jewish Link. After not sleeping for the past four years, he recently announced on one of his two blogs to which he contributes daily, that he would be completely offline for two weeks in order to hibernate through the rest of winter.

Wandering Que Pops Up One Time Too Many.

Calls flooded the Torah Academy of Bergen County and Ma’ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls yesterday, when angry parents comforting traumatized, hungry children complained of the most recent pop-up episode of the Wandering Que Smokehouse and Grill, which smokes delicious Texas-style brisket and other meats. They popped up at the corner of State Street and Queen Anne Road. “How is it possible to not eat Wandering Que when you walk by it?” asked TABC Senior Baron Beckstein. “On Taanis Esther, I am not supposed to eat anything, but come on, have a heart,” he said, as he attempted to conceal an enormous smoked turkey leg in his backpack. “Please be patient. We are trying to deal with this food as best we can,” said Rabbi Mosef Madler, between bites of mouth-watering brisket.

Kosher Wine Critic Enters 28-Day Program.

Gamliel Kronemer, a prominent expert on aged beverages, including wines, whiskeys, hooch and moonshine, who writes primarily for the Jewish Link of New Jersey and the New York Jewish Week, announced via publicist that he had entered Retorno Jewish Addiction Rehab Center Center in Givat Shemesh, Israel. “Mr. Kronemer got into a bad situation with some very good wine,” said publicist Shmuelly ‘Sruly’ Yanklovitchowitz. “However, he looks forward to critiquing both the food and beverages at Retorno, which incidentally, has a new chef! And Mr. Kronemer is looking forward to getting right back to work when he comes home. We’re polishing his favorite tasting goblets right now,” he said.

The Jewish Link is going global and beyond.

After expanding just last year from the Jewish Link of Bergen County to the Jewish Link of New Jersey, bringing in Essex and Union Counties to our coverage area, not to mention starting an entirely new Jewish Link of the Bronx, Westchester and Connecticut, Jewish Link Managing Editor Adam Negnewitzky announced exploratory plans to start a Jewish Link of the Milky Way Galaxy. “Restrictions on that particular edition are presented only by the current limitations of our knowledge of the universe and other galaxies. To that end, we have astronomers hard at work on this trying to find out about Jewish life in other galaxies, particularly if they have kosher restaurants who want to advertise,” Negnewitzky said. The news is particularly relevant since the Jewish Standard has the Internet well-covered through their recent agreement to partner on content with the Times of Israel. “We’re not even going to bother with the Internet now; The Standard has that sewn up,” Negnewitzsky said.

By Elizabeth Kratz and Nina Glick

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