April 18, 2024
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April 18, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

The Fun Side Side-Splitting Stand-Up

A New Jersey restaurant

is offering a special menu this month

that doesn’t list prices, but instead asks customers

to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign

in the window, the restaurant is called

“This Space for Rent.”

– Seth Meyers

A man set a new world record

after kicking himself in the head

134 times in one minute. He broke

the previous record of zero.

– Conan O’Brien

 

Google has announced that the

next version of its Android phone

software will be called Marshmallow.

It’ll be similar to the last version

but with s’more features.

– Seth Meyers

The Cadillac Escalade EXT is

the most popular car driven in

New York. Partly because they’re

stylish, but mostly because New

Yorkers like to have a place to

stretch out when they leave their

apartments.

– Jimmy Fallon

This weekend, many of the Republican

candidates said they

used a Fitbit. In fact, Jeb Bush uses

his to see how much distance he

can put between himself and his

last name.

– Conan O’Brien

 

Today, Hillary Clinton released

an ad that emphasized her humble

economic background. In the

ad she says, “Just 15 years ago, my

family and I were evicted from

our house.”

– Conan O’Brien

 

A company is developing an

elevator that can take you into

space. Don’t you hate it when

you’re going to Jupiter and someone

gets on the elevator and

presses “Mars”?

– Conan O’Brien

 

Starbucks just announced that

its Pumpkin Spice Latte will

now include real pumpkin. You’ll

know the drink has real pumpkin

when it tastes disgusting.

– Jimmy Fallon

 

At Ohio State University, it was

just announced a tiny human

brain has been grown in a lab.

Isn’t that crazy? And it’s already

announced its support for Trump

for president.

– Conan O’Brien

 

A study found that many types

of head lice have mutated and

now have become resistant to

over–the–counter treatments.

The problem has scientists

scratching their heads.

– Conan O’Brien

 

CNN’s newest polls show that

Donald Trump is leading Hillary

Clinton in Florida. It’s scary, because

if that could happen in

Florida, it could also happen in

the United States.

– Seth Meyers

 

According to a new list, Nashville

is the friendliest city in

America. While Philadelphia beat

up the person who was putting

together the list.

– Seth Meyers

 

New Jersey Governor Chris

Christie said today that Hillary

Clinton’s arrogance is “breathtaking.”

Of course, he also said

the same thing about a flight of

stairs.

– Seth Meyers

 

Donald Trump landed his helicopter

at the state fair and offered

to take some kids on a ride in

the helicopter. Twenty kids took

the helicopter ride with Trump.

He dropped them off in Texas.

They’re now building a wall on

the border.

– Jimmy Kimmel

 

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