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October 3, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

IDF Soldier Turned Influencer Addresses Ahavas Achim

(l-r) Ahavas Achim Assistant Rabbi Noah Whittenberg, Rabbi Steven Miodownik and Arky Staiman.

Highland Park’s Cong. Ahavas Achim (AA) hosted a presentation by IDF combat veteran and, now, social media influencer Arky Staiman on Monday evening, Sept. 16. More than 150 people came to hear the presentation that was inspiring and entertaining. Staiman’s style was part stand-up comedy, part motivational speaker, part mussar, and 100% worth hearing.

Emily Menasha, a teacher at Rabbi Pesach Raymon Yeshiva and a member of AA, follows Staiman on Instagram. Hearing he would be in the United States on a speaking tour, she suggested both locations for a session. The schedule fit and arrangements were made. “He is so dynamic and on point,” said Menasha.

Arky Staiman answers questions after the event.

Staiman immediately drew in the crowd by starting off his presentation acknowledging that this was his first “AA” meeting, drawing on the acronym used by the synagogue. He then proceeded to tell his story — from the time he made aliyah from Baltimore to his time in a hesder yeshiva, to his military service, marriage and family, and his unit’s callback after Oct. 7. His popular inspirational posts on Instagram, seen by more than 19,000 viewers, began merely as an efficient means to communicate with his family via WhatsApp after he was deployed. Several of his posts were forwarded along, and the rest, as they say, is history. “As an influencer, I understand there is a halacha to take a picture of my food before I eat it.”

Staiman is part of an elite army unit tasked with retrieving fallen soldiers, even under enemy fire, to be sure they are not taken by the enemy but can be returned to Israel for a proper burial. It is not an easy job and navigating live grenades, terrorists on the loose and booby-trapped buildings are par for the course. A video was shown of Staiman leading his fellow soldiers in song to keep up morale while in the vehicle en route to Gaza. The presentation included stories about miracles that happened, personal anecdotes about his family and friends that were touching, amusing and on point, and a set of five missions to guide people through life that were inspired by his missions in Gaza.

These missions are actions that each person should undertake to be able to accomplish what is needed in life. Particularly relevant in the month before Rosh Hashanah, they are applicable for personal and professional success and to help everyone become the best they can be.

The large crowd listens to Staiman’s inspirational presentation.
  1. Maintain and improve personal mental health. Being on the battlefield requires a focused and specific mindset — a goal that can be translated and used off the battlefield as well. “Your mental strength is your ammunition,” he said. If one can’t focus on what needs to be accomplished, there cannot be success. One hour per week is recommended for yoga, meditation, mindfulness, therapy, etc.
  2. Become physically healthy and strong. People see many challenges on a day-to-day basis that can only be accomplished by being physically fit. Staiman related how he had to squeeze through debris in a collapsed tunnel in Gaza. Initially, he thought it would be impossible to get through, but he realized the space was similar to a place he would crawl through as a tour guide. Being physically fit enabled him to crawl during his tours and to navigate the tunnel and bring back the body of a Jewish captive. Everyone should eat healthy and try to exercise a minimum of two hours per week.
  3. Develop a relationship with Hashem. Relying on set prayers, many people have forgotten how to have a personal relationship with Hashem. People can increase their connection to Hashem by communicating in their own words and in their own language for a suggested total of one hour per week.
  4. Strengthen family bonds. Critical to soldiers returning home, time is needed to reestablish their relationship with their families after being in such a stressful environment. Everyone should spend quality one-on-one time with each child/family member at an activity of their choosing at a minimum of 30 minutes per week, per person. “You won’t regret the time you spend being with your family,” said Staiman.
  5. Every person should find their own mission and purpose in life and set the goals to attain it. What is one’s special ability that can be used locally, in Israel or around the world? What can one do to help others? Staiman related that there was a barber giving free haircuts to soldiers as they left the Gaza area so they would feel better while looking better, and a man deep frying schnitzel and French fries for soldiers at the entrance to Khan Younis. “They found their special purpose and you can too.” The special acts can be done until the war is over and then continue to do good afterwards.

“My job is to risk my life on the front lines in Israel. Your job is to (show your support) and remind me why I am doing it,” said Staiman.

Staiman’s anecdotes, recollections and stories made an impact on the audience. Merryll Abrahams of Highland Park found his relating of the family aspect and the acknowledgement of how he dealt with it to be the most meaningful. An audience member was heard saying he came to the presentation after hearing his child come home from RPRY enthused about the speaker, and was glad to have come.

Audrey Rockman of Edison said, “When I read that Arky’s mission in Gaza was to retrieve fallen soldiers and he would deliver this message with unbelievable positivity, I knew I needed to hear what he had to say.” From the receptivity of the audience, it was clear everyone learned something and came away inspired.

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