In the haftara of Naso, it states: “There was a certain man…whose name was Manoach; his wife was barren and had not given birth. An angel of God appeared to the woman and said to her, ‘Behold now!—you are barren and have not given birth, but you shall conceive and give birth to a son. And now, be careful not to drink wine or intoxicants, and not to eat anything prohibited [to a nazir]…For the lad shall be a nazir of God from the womb….’ The woman came and told her husband, saying, ‘A man of God came to me…He said to me, ‘Behold! you shall conceive and give birth to a son; and now, do not drink wine or intoxicant, and do not eat anything prohibited [to a nazir], for the lad shall be a nazir of God from the womb until the day of his death.’”
Interestingly, despite the fact that Manoach’s wife related the angel’s message to Manoach, the very next verse states that “Manoach prayed to Hashem and said, ‘Please, my Lord, may the man of God whom You sent come now again to us and teach us what we should do to the lad who will be born.’” If Manoach’s wife just told him that the angel told her the lad will be a nazir, why then did Manoach ask Hashem to re-send the angel to tell them what should be done to the lad?
Rav Shimon Schwab seems to explain as follows: It appears that Manoach wanted to know how to properly raise and guide the son they were going to have. Hence, he wanted the angel to teach them what they “should do to the lad who will be born,” meaning, how to properly raise and guide their destined nazarite son. For Manoach could not understand how he would raise and guide his nazarite son to live on a higher level of holiness than the typical person, if he, as the father of this child, would not be conducting himself in the same way. Thus, the angel (in v. 14) essentially confirmed to Manoach that, indeed, he too needs to conduct himself like a nazir, for if he wants to raise a son as a nazir, he too should conduct himself as a nazir (see Maayan Bet Hashoeva, Naso).
Based on this, we may suggest that the fact that the angel essentially told Manoach that the way to raise and guide his son to live on higher level of holiness would be by way of personal example rather than through verbal expression and persuasion, perhaps shows that the former would be a more effective way of influencing his son.
We might find this idea in another place in the Torah as well, perhaps in more broader terms: The Daat Zekeinim teaches that when Avraham Avinu was commanded to circumcise all the people of his household, he went to Mamrei to ask him what he should do regarding the people of his household who did not want to undergo circumcision. Mamrei advised him that he should first circumcise himself and his son Yishmael, and when the people of his household see this, they would then accept to be circumcised. Avraham did so, as it states, “On that very day was Avraham circumcised with Yishmael his son,” and thereafter (in the very next verse) it states, “and all the people of his household…were circumcised with him.”
Rav Henach Leibowitz seems to point out the following: From the Daat Zekeinim it sounds like the best way for Avraham to influence the people of his household to be circumcised was by he himself getting circumcised, and when the people of his household would see this, they would then accept to also get circumcised. Now, although Avraham was successful in using verbal persuasion to influence people to convert, yet, in this case, Mamrei did not tell Avraham to simply persuade the people of his household with words, but rather to act by personal example, showing that Avraham’s choosing to undergo circumcision himself would be the more influential of the two methods (see Chidushei HaLev, Vayera, 18:1).
From all the above we can perhaps learn the power of influencing by example and the impact of practicing what we preach, as our positive actions and conduct might inspire and carry more influence than our words.
Binyamin is a graduate of Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan, and Wurzweiler School of Social Work.
