On Purim, Jews are required to comply with the Shalach Manos mandate, which entails the sending of food to others. It derives from Megillat Esther, which refers to Purim as a day of feasting and gladness, one that essentially calls for the exchange of edibles. Most scholars agree that the Shalach Manos component is satisfied if you send two different, ready-to-eat food items (or beverages) to at least one person. Believe it or not, you cannot simply cut a check or wire funds to fulfill this obligation. Even a gift certificate to an all-you-can-eat buffet will not suffice. Thus, it literally is a regulation of rations, a guideline of grub and a statute of sustenance.

That said, nothing prevents a person from presenting Shalach Manos based on a fun or humorous theme. It is perfectly fine to add some creativity and comedy so that you Shalach Manos are well-received and memorable. However, not every potential theme is a good idea for Shalach Manos. On a cautionary note, the following are hypothetical examples of inappropriate themes. To be clear, these are very bad ideas that should never be used for Shalach Manos.

1. People who do not deserve to be honored at a synagogue dinner (“The Snickers bar represents the wide-spread snickering heard throughout the community when Heshy Donothingstein was honored. If anything, he is a detriment to the shul!”)

2. Synagogue budget deficits (“The chopsticks represent the chopping that we, the synagogue board, must do as part of austerity cut-backs. Going forward, no more shul-sponsored kiddushim. In addition, we will pre-charge for seating for every shabbos, not just on High Holidays, and for using the coat room and restroom. Congregants also must pre-pay for siddurim, chumashim and tallisim and if you want the rabbi to deliver an above-average sermon, it will cost you something extra.”)

3. Nicknames that congregants use to describe the clergy and others behind their backs (The Airhead Taffy represents the rabbi, the Milk Duds represent the chazzan and the Dum Dum Lollipops represent the shul president)

4. The drama surrounding the Yeshiva high school admissions process (The sour grapes represent those who did not get into their school of choice even though they now conveniently claim it was their last pick)

5. Types of candy that would be totally unfit and and downright dangerous to throw at a bar mitzvah boy (The hard candy, rock candy and gobstoppers represent parents who do not actually love the bar mitzvah boy very much)

6. The many ways kids cheat when trying to win Coke & Pepsi during a bat mitzvah party (A can of Coke and Pepsi to represent kids who say things like this to each other: “Don’t wait for the deejay to yell ‘Pepsi.’ As soon as you hear ‘pep,’ put some pep in your step and get a head-start, even though the whole thing is totally fixed and the bat mitzvah girl is going to be declared the winner anyway.”)

7. Basketball bench-warmers who have zero chance of ever playing in a real game and yet continue to stubbornly and sadly hold out hope (The doughnuts represent their zero chance of getting on the court: “My parents keep reassuring me that bench warming builds character. Well, if that’s true, then I’ve already got a skyscraper’s worth of character.”)

8. Pricey Passover programs that seem way too expensive for your neighbors to afford and yet they never miss a year (The Payday candy bar represents your fancy neighbors: “They’re going to New Zealand on a two week five-star Passover program? But I thought they have eight kids and just bought a used Honda Odyssey minivan. I don’t get it. I just doesn’t add up.”)

9. The wonderful world of stay-cations (The bottle of water represents your children’s tears when you announce: “Kids, I have great news. For this year’s winter break, we’ll be going all the way down the street to Savta’s house to watch old movies and eat dietetic cookies!!!)

10. Camp color war controversies including that time that your team won both song and banner yet somehow came in second place. (The Atomic Fireballs and Red Hots represent your unending anger: “Are you kidding me?!?! It’s a sham, a scam!!!! Somebody must have bribed the director!!! I want to see the score cards right now so hand them over!!!! Oh, you conveniently threw them out? Of course… it’s a conspiracy!!!)

Final thought: When it comes to Shalach Manos, it is better to give than to receive. Of course, the same is true when it comes to bad news.

By Jon Kranz