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November 30, 2024
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There are very few feelings in life that leave us more challenged, hurt and insecure than the feeling we get from being ignored. Part of this may stem from the fact that we need to feel that we have what to contribute, to give back to society and the world. Indeed our ability to be in touch with what we have to give is the essence of connecting with our purpose in this world. So when someone completely ignores us, perhaps we wonder whether we really have as much to offer as we think we do.

One would think that the more important someone is, and the more special they are to us, the less chance there is that we would ever ignore them. And yet, so often, it is the people we should care about the most that we often tend to ignore. The greatest lessons, of course, are learned from the most painful of mistakes.

I recall once visiting our daughter’s nursery class for a Shabbat party. Our daughter was the Shabbat queen that Friday, and I wanted to surprise her by showing up with a guitar. There are certain moments that are beyond description, so it is impossible to accurately describe the look on my daughter’s face when I showed up and offered to sing and tell stories; her beaming face still warms my heart years later. Not wanting to appear to play favorites, I was calling on all the other children to answer the questions that emanated from the story. Only the teacher’s gesture alerted me to the tears starting to stream down my daughter’s face because I wasn’t asking her a question. It didn’t matter that the whole reason I was there to begin with was because of her; one moment’s perception that I was ignoring her, that I wasn’t seeing her, was more painful than the joy of the whole morning put together.

Elie Wiesel once said: “After the Holocaust, a Jew can affirm God, or he can deny Him, but he cannot ignore Him.

But is this true? Don’t we ignore God all the time? Many of us may have come to the conclusion that God, Hashem, exists. In fact, surveys suggest that over 75% of Americans believe in God. Yet, we seem to ignore this every day, all the time.

This week’s portion of Vayeira begins with God “appearing” to Avraham. Tradition tells us God is actually visiting Abraham who is recovering from circumcision at the ripe old age of 99! In the midst of their discussion and God’s visit, Abraham looks up and sees three strangers coming towards him, hot and tired from the desert sun. He jumps up and runs to these strangers, whom he has never met, in order to usher them into the hospitality of his home.

Imagine. Avraham is in the middle of speaking with God, when without any explanation, he just runs off! How could Avraham behave in such a horrible fashion? And to God Himself? And who were these three fellows? Jewish tradition suggests they were pagan idolaters. So Avraham interrupts a conversation with Gd to help three pagans already coming his way?

Perhaps there is a very deep message here. You see, for Avraham, running to help three strangers in the desert, was not an interruption of his relationship with God, it was an expression of it. Every time we do something good, simply because it is good, for another human being, that is not an interruption of our relationship with God; that is a part of our dialogue.

Ever wonder why Abraham was the first Jew and not Noah? Perhaps it is because Noah got into the ark all alone, but Abraham refuses to accept the imminent destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, arguing with God to save even the most wicked cities on earth. Every time I ignore my fellow human being, every time, in however small a way, my fellow human being isn’t really there, then a part of me isn’t there either. Because the only place the Torah ever tells us we can find God is inside every human being. And if I don’t see Him in the person standing next to me, then I’ll never really find Him anywhere else.

May we all be blessed to see, really see, everyone around us. And if this small thought causes one person, somewhere, to pay a little more attention to the people sitting right in front of him, then we have brought the world a little bit closer to where it needs to be.


Rabbi Binny Freedman is Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Orayta. He is a member of the Mizrachi Speakers Bureau (www.mizrachi.org/speakers). The RZA-Mizrachi is a broad Religious Zionist organization without a particular political affiliation.

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