It was a flurry that overtook the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Stamford, Connecticut, on Erev Shabbos Parshas Shemos. No, not a snow flurry, rather it was a flurry of anticipation, a flurry of excitement. Listening to the creative arrangements many women had made for their children, overhearing mothers micromanaging last-minute Shabbos preparations in their homes, hearing the pride-tinged voices as they discussed the Dirshu programs in which their husbands participate offered just a hint into how they valued this Shabbos—a Shabbos where they were being given the opportunity to meet countless others like themselves whose greatest delight is to encourage their husbands to continue learning, continue taking tests, continue being part of the Dirshu family.
The sight was surreal—hundreds of women, dressed in Shabbos finery, streaming toward a table bedecked with hundreds of tea lights. The silence pervaded the room as each woman struck a match, ignited a flame and covered her face, quietly welcoming what promised to be a most magnificent, uplifting Shabbos.
Before long it was time to head to the shiur of Rebbetzin Shlomtzy Weiss. Her powerful speech focused on the concepts of unconditional love, understanding the reality of who you are and using that reality to make decisions based on what Hashem wants rather than what society dictates. She brought home the point by explaining how the name klal Yisrael reflects the strength baked into our DNA, as the word Yisrael contains the first letter of each of our avos and imahos, with the yud representing Yitzchok and Yaakov, the shin representing Sara, the reish for Rivkah and Rochel, the aleph for Avraham and the lamed for Leah.
Heading toward the dining areas, the cacophony of voices greeting each other, meeting new people, debating the inspirational words they had just heard and discussing how Dirshu has transformed the atmosphere in their homes filled the air.
Following the meal, Mrs. Rochel Goldbaum explored the topic of “Mi yaaleh b’har Hashem” by explaining how important it is not to “discard the good for the perfect” and how if you proceed with tiny steps, one step at a time, you can ultimately scale mountains.
Mrs. Debbie Selengut presented tips and guidelines on shalom bayis. With humor and practical advice, she exhorted everyone to remember that marriage is the most important relationship and that, no matter how busy, how hectic life becomes, this man is the one you encircled seven times at the chupa signifying that he—not your children, not your job—is the center of your world. If a wife nurtures her relationship with her husband, the positive results will trickle down to all other relationships.
A magnificent kumzitz led by Mrs. Shaindy Friedlander beautifully concluded the evening. The singing resonated, penetrating the hearts and minds of all as they were swept up in the haunting melodies. Rebbetzin Shlomtzy Weiss added depth by sharing the background story of how the song “Ribbon Ha’Olamim Yadati” came into being.
On Shabbos morning, the women were greeted by a delectable kiddush after which Mrs. Rochel Goldbaum again offered practical advice and tips, flavored with humor and anecdotes. One hint in particular that many women absorbed as an easy take-home lesson was the acronym WAIT: before one talks, one should think: Why Am I Talking?
Later in the afternoon, in a halacha shiur for women, Rav Zev Hofstedter masterfully presented common halachic questions that arise frequently and proceeded to answer them clearly and concisely.
The bountiful shalosh seudos was graced by four Dirshu wives, Mrs. Chanie Perl, Mrs. Blimi Tager, Mrs. Chana Penina Weg and Mrs. Sori Berkowitz, who shared their inspiring stories of how their husbands’ learning and being tested through the Dirshu program has transformed their lives. They were followed by an informative panel featuring Mrs. Debbie Selengut, Mrs. Rochel Goldbaum and Rebbetzin Shlomtzy Weiss.
The Motzei Shabbos program featured two workshops. One workshop was a light, fun activity offered by The Beadery wherein every woman crafted her own beautiful necklace, and the second a video of Mrs. Tammy Karmel, a remarkable woman suffering from the ravages of ALS. One very strong message that Mrs. Karmel gave over was the concept that yes, HaKadosh Boruch Hu gives people nisyonos and He also gives us the koach, the strength, to deal with the nisyonos. However, He only gives us the strength to deal with current nisyonos, not future nisyonos. Therefore, it is imperative to focus on today, to live today to its fullest without being weighed down and overwhelmed by thoughts of tomorrow!
Finally, the culmination of the Shabbos, the grand melave malka siyum, took place in a massive tent just outside the hotel. The pin-drop silence that filled the room during the Hadran followed by the explosive, resounding “Amen yehei Shemei rabba”; the sight of hundreds of women beaming with pride, craning their necks to see the gadol b’Yisrael HaGaon HaRav Rav Berel Povarsky, shlita, on video hook-up; the stirring words by the nasi of Dirshu as he introduced the Kinyan Chochma program; the remarkable panel of Dirshu wives—Mrs. Frumi Lerner, Mrs. Mirel Schwartzberg and Mrs. Surie Schwamenfeld—who so passionately portrayed how much Dirshu means to them and to their families; the enthusiastic circle of women dancing with joy; the fulfilled women trying to catch glimpses of their husbands as they danced the dance of unadulterated joy culled from their Torah accomplishments. It was truly a night to remember!
Another highlight was the magnificent presentation made to Mrs. Shiffy Hofstedter, wife of Dirshu’s nasi, Rav Dovid Hofstedter. The presentation was a book comprised of letters from Dirshu wives thanking her for supporting her husband in all that he does and in particular for all that Dirshu has done for them and for their families. One letter, the letter written by Mrs. Ruchy Weisz, wife of Reb Avrum Duvid Weisz who has been suffering from ALS for 12 years and whose entire chiyus comes from learning and in particular from learning in Dirshu’s programs, was read aloud and echoed the sentiments of all present:
“…Mamesh bikarov we will be zoche to the coming of Moshiach… It is to you [Mrs. Hofstedter] that they will … say ‘Sheli v’shelachem shelah.’ The millions of hours of thousands of talmidim learning Dirshu—sweat and tears, daf after daf, the bechinos and the mesiras nefesh of the avreichim and their families will create the most beautiful crown…. Amen!”
By E.T Birnbaum
