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October 12, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Chapter 3Summary: Ari and Debbie are upset to learn that Yaffa hired an expensive photographer without consulting them. Yaffa is embarrassed by her daughter’s obsession with makeup and is jealous of her Israeli niece’s apparent lack of superficiality.


Chapter 4

Moriah gave an exaggerated swish to the contents of the steaming frying pan and ladled some food onto her grandfather’s plate.

“Here you go, Grandpa. Real Israeli shakshuka.”

“You know we have real Israeli shakshuka in Teaneck, too,” Jake commented, as he helped himself to the breakfast.

Moriah rolled her eyes. “Of course. Lo techsar kol bah was said about America, right?”

“I’m not trying to compare us to Israel,” Jake said hurriedly. “I’m just, y’know, saying.”

“Your Israeli accent’s so cool,” Shani said. She lifted a forkful of the egg and vegetable concoction and sniffed it before sticking it in her mouth and chewing slowly. “Not bad—in, like, an exotic foodie type of way.” She took another forkful. “But I think tomorrow I’ll make pancakes.”

Moriah stuck her tongue out at her, as her cousins laughed.

“What do you prefer, Grandma?” Shani asked. “Shakshuka or pancakes?”

Their grandmother was busy eyeing their grandfather as he ate, and she turned distractedly towards Shani. “What’s that?” She blinked. “Oh, both sound great, honey.” She quickly took a bite of the food on her plate. “Mmm, Moriah, delicious. Where’d you learn to cook so well?”

Her brief smile faded as she turned back to her husband, eyebrows furrowed. “Larry, go easy on the eggs.”

Larry waved a hand. “I know, I know. I’m being careful.”

Gail twirled her fork between her fingers as she continued to watch him. After a moment, she said, “How about I take the rest of that, and give you a yogurt with fruit instead?”

She began to reach out for his plate and, scowling, her husband snatched it back. “Will you let me eat my breakfast in peace?”

Gail’s eyes narrowed. “Have you forgotten what happened last night?”

The grandchildren exchanged silent glances. Ari, who’d been frowning over something on his phone, abruptly looked up. “What happened last night?”

“Nothing,” his father said quickly. “Just a little heartburn.”

“Heartburn!” Gail scoffed. “You thought you were dying.”

“What’s this?” Ari put down his phone and leaned forward. “Ma, why didn’t you come get me?”

“I didn’t want to wake you. He took his medicine and after 20 minutes he was fine.”

“Exactly!” Larry nodded. “I’m fine now. No need to worry.” With a defiant glance at his wife, he took another bite of the shakshuka. Ari looked back and forth between both his parents suspiciously.

“Dad, Ma’s right, you shouldn’t be eating all those eggs. You know what the doctor said.”

Larry sighed. “Now you’re nagging me, too? You’re as bad as a wife.” But he put down his fork. “All I wanted to do was enjoy my granddaughter’s delicious cooking.” He reached out to pat Moriah, who was looking at him anxiously.

“No, don’t eat it. I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I’m not going to get sick.” He stared down at his plate, then pushed it slightly away. Looking up, he said brightly, “Who’s up for a mean game of Bananagrams after breakfast?”

***

“Whaat?” Yaffa pressed her fingers onto the wooden deck table as she stared at her brother, who’d just updated both his sisters on the medical incident. “We should get him to a doctor right away!”

“Know any doctors in Henryville?”

She picked up her phone. “We’ll find one. This sounds really serious; I can’t believe Ma didn’t want to wake us.” Her fingers swiped rapidly. “Here we go. Dr. Chris Thomas. He’s 5.3 miles from here and he takes Medicare.”

Ari shook his head. “Dad will never agree to go to some hick town doctor.”

“Well, we’ll have to force him, then. This isn’t a joke.”

Ilana adjusted her beret, wiping a strand of hair off her face. “Is it really necessary to see a doctor immediately? Dad’s had these incidents before.”

“Not like this! You heard Ari. He thought he was dying!”

“He also thought so when he came to visit us last Chanukah,” Ilana said. “Ma was furious with him for eating too many sufganiyot. But he took his pills and got over it.”

“Yeah, and I told you then that I thought you should’ve brought him straight to the emergency room,” Yaffa muttered.

Ilana raised her eyebrows. “Are we rehashing this again? We contacted Dr. Klein and he determined that it was fine for Dad to wait until he came home to come see him.”

“Okay, okay, there’s no need to go into that,” Ari said quickly. “I don’t know if it’s necessary for Dad to go to some strange doctor now, but we should make sure he’s taking care of himself.”

“Right, like, only give him heart-healthy food to eat,” Yaffa said.

Ilana shook her head. “He’s not going to like that, when all the rest of us are eating French toast and barbeques and—what’s on the menu again for the big party?”

Yaffa clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh no! I ordered cheesy quiches and pastas in cream sauce and all that sort of food that Dad absolutely loves. Even a cheesecake bar for dessert. I mean, there’s also salmon and salads, and avocado wraps with grilled veggies—oh yeah, and sushi—but how do we make sure he only—”

Ari gaped at her. “Uh, how many people are we?” He turned to Ilana. “Did you know we were getting all this food?”

“I hadn’t really paid attention to the final menu. Yaf, that’s quite a lot.”

Yaffa bristled. “I’m the one who does all the work planning this thing, and at the last minute you step in and complain? Nice.”

“We appreciate all your work,” Ari began.

“But this is getting kinda expensive,” Ilana finished. “Sorry, but I’m not a rich American like you guys.” She gave a light laugh.

“Guess what? I’m also not a rich American.” Yaffa twisted her ring around her finger, frowning. “We’re paying off Shmuel’s law school loans, not to mention the credit card debt we’re still carrying from his kollel years.”

Ari felt both his sisters’ eyes swing to him. He knew what they were thinking: here’s the rich one of the family. He remained silent. It was bad enough that his current financial woes were the sore topic of conversation between him and Debbie; The rest of his family didn’t need to know about his ill-judged investment.

He swallowed. “Sounds like we’re all agreed that we’re not interested in spending a lot. So how about we cut back on some of that menu?”

Yaffa opened her mouth as if to protest, then stopped. She twisted her ring again. “Fine. I guess … it’ll be better for Dad if we don’t have the cheesecake bar. And we don’t really need the sushi, that was a last-minute addition.”

Ilana looked relieved, and Ari said, “Thanks.” He stood up and stretched. “I think I’ll head to the pool.” He started walking away, then turned back. “Oh and while we’re belt-tightening, I’ll just throw out that I’m perfectly fine if you want to cancel that artistic photographer.”

He laughed at the expression on Yaffa’s face. “Kidding, little sis.”

Oh, well. At least he could tell Debbie that he’d tried.

By Ariella Aaron

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