Women and Kiddush

While the Gemara (Brachot 20b) states that women are obligated in kiddush, it does not discuss whether they are obligated in Havdala. They are obligated in kiddush despite its being a mitzvat aseh shehazeman grama—a positive time-bound mitzvah from which women are generally excused. Their obligation stems from the hekeish/linkage between “zachor” and “shamor,” the positive and negative aspects of Shabbat. Just as women are obligated in the negatives of Shabbat, they are obligated in its positives. This idea applies to kiddush and all other positive sides of Shabbat, including lechem mishneh and seuda shlishit (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 291:6 and Mishna Berura 291:26).

Rambam Versus the Orchot Chaim/Rash MiShantz

Does this principle extend to Havdala? The Rishonim debate this issue. The Rambam (Hilchot Shabbat 29:1) believes that Havdala is a Torah-level obligation that stems from the kiddush obligation. Kiddush requires us to sanctify Shabbat at its beginning and end. Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik describes this idea as cordoning off Shabbat with kiddush at its start and Havdala at its conclusion.

According to the Rambam (as understood by the Maggid Mishneh ad. loc.), women are obligated in Havdala just as they are obligated in kiddush since, in his view, these two mitzvot are just two different sides of the same coin.

On the other hand, the Orchot Chaim (Hilchot Havdala 18) cites the Rash MiShantz, who disagrees. They believe Havdala is a rabbinic obligation distinct and independent of kiddush. They argue that women are excused from Havdala, since it is a ceremony separate from Shabbat and not included in the Shabbat positives in which women are obligated.

The Maggid Mishneh (ad. loc.) notes that one could believe Havdala is a rabbinic obligation but say that women are obligated in it, despite being a mitzvat aseh shehazeman grama. One could say that Chazal patterned Havdala after kiddush and is included in the Shabbat positives in which women are obligated.

Shulchan Aruch and Rama

The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 296:8) cites both opinions, with the Rambam being the primary opinion and the Orchot Chaim/Rash MiShantz the secondary one. The Rama writes that since we should try to accommodate the secondary view when possible, women should avoid reciting Havdala and, instead, hear it from an adult Jewish male.

However, the Rama’s recommendation is difficult (as noted by the Magen Avraham 296:11) since Ashkenazic women follow the Rama’s ruling (Orach Chayim 589:6) to recite a bracha on mitzvot aseh shehazeman grama they choose to fulfill. As such, why can’t they recite Havdala if they are not obligated to do so?

One of the suggested answers is that for a woman, the brachot recited between Borei Pri Hagefen/Hagafen) and finally drinking the wine are unnecessary and, thus, an unwarranted interruption (hefsek) between the bracha on wine and drinking the wine. Hence, according to the secondary opinion presented in the Shulchan Aruch, women are excused from Havdala and should not recite it themselves.

This approach also explains why women customarily do not drink the Havdala wine. The possible hefsek poses a problem in drinking from the wine after an unjustified delay, after reciting its bracha. However, if no man is available to recite Havdala for a woman, she follows the Shulchan Aruch’s primary opinion and recites it and drinks the wine (Aruch Hashulchan Orach Chayim 296:5 and Mishna Berura 296:35).

Men Making Havdala for Women

Since we seek to satisfy the Shulchan Aruch’s secondary opinion, men should be mindful not to fulfill Havdala when they hear it recited on wine in the beit haknesset (Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata 58:17-18). Regarding kiddush, a man can recite kiddush for a woman even if he already fulfilled the mitzvah. This rule stems from the principle of “Yatza Motzi,”

which teaches that one who fulfilled a mitzvah can still fulfill the mitzvah for another (Rosh Hashanah 29a).

Rashi (ad. loc. s.v. af al pi) explains that this rule stems from “areyvut,” our responsibility to help others discharge their obligations. However, areyvut is relevant only when the one who helps is obligated in the mitzvah. This idea is relevant when saying kiddush for a woman since they must recite kiddush. However, according to the Shulchan Aruch’s secondary opinion, one yotzei Havdala cannot say Havdala for a woman.

Rav Ovadia Yosef (Teshuvot Yabia Omer 4: Orach Chayim 23)—after an exhaustive review of the topic—agrees and cleverly recommends that a man respond, “Baruch Hu u’varuch Shemo,” to the brachot recited on Havdala in the beit knesset. By doing so, he shows he is not interested in being yotzei the mitzvah in shul, since one does not respond, “Baruch Hu u’varuch Shemo,” to a bracha on a mitzvah one seeks to fulfill (Mishna Berura 124:21 and Rav Ovadia Yosef, Teshuvot Yechaveh Daat 4:9; although Moroccan Jewish practice differs).

Conclusion

There is great debate about whether women are obligated to recite Havdala. While we fundamentally rule that women are obligated, we strive to accommodate the dissenting view. Therefore, a man should not fulfill Havdala when it is recited on wine in the beit knesset.

However, if he intended to fulfill Havdala on wine in shul, he may still recite Havdala for a woman. While it is preferable in such cases for a woman to recite Havdala for herself (Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata and Teshuvot Yabia Omer op. cit.), many Jewish women are not comfortable making Havdala by themselves. In such a case, the man should rely on the Shulchan Aruch’s primary opinion and recite Havdala for the woman.

Rabbi Jachter serves as the rav of Congregation Shaarei Orah, rebbe at Torah Academy of Bergen County and a get administrator with the Beth Din of Elizabeth. Rabbi Jachter’s 20 books may be purchased at Amazon and Judaica House.