I have written before about the common experience of feeling as if we’re immersed 24/7 in talk of the pandemic, and also how some of us rarely truly speak about it—about how it makes us feel. About many of our hopes that were washed away by the majority of 2020. About the anxiety and the fear and the ways we’ve been pushed—and had to push ourselves. Of the loss and grief and the countless hugs we’ve needed but could not physically receive.

I also believe that many of us have not truly examined, at one time and in one sitting, how the pandemic has impacted our relationships with our bodies. There are quite a number of people who told me that they started therapy during this time because the body had become a coping mechanism or because they finally experienced an acceptance of long-standing patterns that needed to be given care and support.

The pandemic shifted our relationships with others and with the outside world, but also with our inside worlds. For so many individuals, this happened because of the changes in environment which led to the internal shifts. Before March 2020, many people packed their food and went to work or school, eating during set break times or finding time on a busy day to do so. Or maybe before March, people didn’t have the time or privilege to feed themselves, and now, suddenly, there was time. There were also those who had careers that barely gave them time, and now, during the pandemic, there was even less of an opportunity for basic self-care—including nourishment.

I want to note all of this. I want to take the time to actually discuss the way our relationships with food may have changed.

I have seen some harmful posts about the fear of gaining weight, shaming fatness, and promoting a culture of marginalization. I also know that there is now an obsessiveness—even among those who had not felt this way previously—surrounding exercise as a means of compensation. I do not mean that because people were stationary they felt the importance of integrating movement. Rather, I mean that people spend hours planning for and discussing exercise in an extensive, over-detailed manner. This obsessiveness leads to a direct connection between movement, appearance and self-worth—and that can be harmful.

I have also seen people begin to bake or cook for the first time, people who feel that there is actually time now to prepare meals and they feel more connected to the experience of nourishing themselves as there is a space to do so.

But I have not seen much discussion regarding the way thoughts about food and food practices have needed to change. For the folks who were given food at school or work, they now need to plan. Many people who used to prepare meals and pack foods assumed they would find time during the day to prepare a meal, and then they notice that time is limited—and this has led to grazing and not eating an actual meal, which results in a feeling of dissatisfaction and even self-judgment. Then there are those who now have to manage multiple children at home in an unexpected way and barely had time beforehand to feed themselves, let alone sit and choose what they wanted.

There is often an assumed privilege when we talk about normalized and intuitive eating that the person has options and can choose from these options. In reality, so many people lack options—whether for financial reasons or reasons related to time or obligations. It would be simple to say that sitting down to eat needs to be a priority, but this would imply that everyone has time and also means to do so.

And then we must also acknowledge those that have the means necessary but are unable to do so because of an emotional barrier that may have existed before the pandemic or may have been awakened due to the immense changes that this brought out.

There are challenges that exist for so many in our community—and for so many different reasons. I suggest that the first step in forging ahead should be learning and accepting that these factors are real. Not joking about food or bodies. Asking how we can help one another. Seeking out support if your relationship with food or your body has changed or if you’ve known for a while that you would like this not to be a priority in your life, dictating your self-worth. Try to create time for yourself, even if it’s 30 seconds, to feed yourself. To be with yourself. To let yourself be.

There is no one solution—and my field is not about solutions. But it is about starting with recognition and acceptance and seeing how you can give yourself—or find—support from the starting point of that important step. You are not alone and perhaps if we came together and talked more, listened more, we could find a way to heal.

Temimah Zucker, LCSW, specializes in working with those struggling with mental health diagnoses and looking to repair the relationship between the body and soul. Temimah worked in an eating disorder treatment center for over 7 years and speaks nationally on the subjects of eating disorder awareness and body image. To schedule a consultation visit www.temimah.com