The ongoing barrage of letters defending the presence of children in shul is missing the point (“You Call It Noise, but It’s Music to My Ears,” December 1, 2022; “Kids Should Stay in Shul,” December 1, 2022). Are you teaching your children about davening and ruchniut (spirituality) by allowing them to run around and make noise? No, you are giving them the worst chinuch by teaching them that shul is just another playground.

There is a shul I know where the children run around wildly without any supervision while the men daven in shul on Shabbat afternoon. They scream and make noise and run in and out of the room while the rabbi gives his speech.

The fathers don’t do anything. The rabbi does not do anything because these are probably children of members and donors who contribute heavily to the shul. I have tried to quiet these kids down myself, but without any parental discipline there is very little I can accomplish. If the mothers want a rest from their kids, that’s fine, but shul is not daycare. And that shul is not the only example…

Telling children “no” and teaching them manners will not destroy their self-esteem, contrary to what modern child psychologists keep spouting.

Regarding crackling bags of candy and snacks making noise? If the president of the United States was speaking in your shul I am sure you would be able to hear a pin drop. Somehow, people have more respect for a mortal human than for the Creator and King of the Universe. That disrespect includes talking in shul by the adults.

It’s true that children are our future, but they need to be taught that the world doesn’t revolve around them … that other people must be considered … how to act with respect, and know when and when not to behave a certain way … to understand that life has restrictions, otherwise we have what Hobbes termed a State of Nature, where people are completely self-centered and selfish, leading to complete chaos. But we don’t need Hobbes to tell us that. The Torah does.

Most of all, children should be taught and shown that shul is a place of kedusha. If your kids are not ready to grasp that, then leave them at home until they do understand.

Isn’t it shameful that many gentiles train their children to sit quietly and respectfully in their churches, while our shuls are often allowed to be turned into Romper Room?