New York—The road to success is certainly a topic of much discussion and debate in all circles of life, and observant Judaism is no exception. The spectrum of philosophical approaches to success is as varied as the stripes of Orthodoxy, though there does seem to be considerable consensus with the idea of “doing one’s hishtadlus,” or “due diligence.”
And then we let go, so to speak, and ‘let God.’ Hashem’s is the domain of success. Well-known speaker/now author and nationally recognized life coach, Jack Canfield (co-author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series) described his definition of insanity: “If you keep doing what you’ve always done; you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten.”
A recent interview with Bracha Meltzer, ACC, CCPC and owner of Take Charge of Your Life in Brooklyn, revealed a unique and refreshing blend of Torah perspective with life coaching. She hosts the web-based radio show “Weekly Forum with Bracha,” a program for Chazaq Radio. Bracha has been a presenter for three years at the Shalom Workshop of the Shalom Task Force, for newly engaged or married couples, and a volunteer in the Sister-to-Sister program for single parents. She is revered for her expertise in the area of communication, and especially in advising in the area of non-abusive divorce.
Asked what she considers to be amongst the most important life skills, Bracha responded with several necessary areas of primary focus in both her private practice and public presentations. She emphasized that communication is the very first and foremost life skill in every life relationship. The average person apparently believes that their communication skills are good—or “good enough.” Meltzer’s work with the Shalom Workshop illustrates the frequent reality that only when we encounter a road-block in a relationship, do we begin to consider that communication could be the culprit. And our (mistaken) perception is that, “It’s the other person, not me.” “We need to be open to change and improvement in this area as an ongoing skill throughout all stages of life,” explains Meltzer.
This concept leads to Meltzer’s next important life skill, which perfectly meshes with Canfield’s beliefs: flexibility. Flexibility in thought and perspective is a necessity for improving relationships and a positive outlook. While flexibility doesn’t mean compromising one’s values, it does require tolerance for many perspectives or possibilities that can achieve the same goal or represent an outlook. She adds to her list of essential skills the idea of living in the moment, blended with the ability of willingness to take balanced calculated risks. One has to learn the skills of risk assessment, and also be willing to manage mistakes when they happen; while remaining mindful of maximizing the here and now. And finally, Bracha’s perspective of loving life itself expresses an attitude of balancing life’s successes as well as disappointments and everything in between, and helps people learn how to do this.
Born in Dublin, Ireland, Bracha Meltzer has plenty of life-experience herself which was influential in teaching and fine-tuning in her these very same life skills. The youngest of three and the only girl in the family, she grew up in an environment with little influence of observant Judaism, and the challenge of a school that did not address the special needs of children who were anything but mainstream. Meltzer describes the fortunate influence of her mother who always encouraged her that she could accomplish anything she put her mind to doing. She moved to England, became involved in B’nei Akiva, and eventually went to Israel as part of a Hachshara on Kibbutz Lavi prior to and during the Six-Day War. The victory of Israel against all odds in that war had a tremendous impact on her religious commitment, and her visit to the Kotel soon after made an indelible impression upon Bracha. She later returned to England until the age of 29 when she moved to New York and established herself in the religious community.
In 1986, Bracha met Shlomo, her husband of 29 years, and they established their home together with his two children who were teenagers at the time. They now enjoy the nachas of nine grandchildren. Bracha says that living the values that one espouses is essential in assuming an attitude of flexibility in life, ultimately leading to personal success. As a witness to the 9/11 attacks, and a victim from its fallout, Bracha has successfully and graciously applied the principles of Taking Charge of Your Life, and continues to help others who lived through that nightmare.
Bracha Meltzer can be reached at [email protected] or 718-252-5933.
By Ellie Wolf
