Reva Judas of Teaneck, now a blessed mother and grandmother, remembers the feeling of loss and isolation she experienced 29 years ago when her newborn son passed away 12 hours after she gave birth to him. She experienced this same helplessness during six subsequent miscarriages.
Determined to bring this tragic “secret club” to the attention of the community, she participated in Holy Name Hospital’s support group established in the mid 1990s where she met Johanna Gorab, a Lamaze instructor and certified Resolve to Care consultant. Created in Wisconsin, Resolve to Care is a national organization that trains facilitators to work with families that have lost infants and suffered miscarriages. With Gorab’s encouragement to form an organization that would focus on the Jewish community, Judas became certified as a facilitator of the Resolve to Care Program in 2007 and proceeded to incorporate NechamaComfort in 2008.
Initially, the monthly meetings were held at Englewood Hospital but subsequently moved back to Holy Name Hospital where meetings are held every second Wednesday of the month. There are similar monthly meetings held in Monsey and Queens. NechamaComfort participates in the national Walk to Remember in October.
Three years ago the organization was recognized as an official community awareness program. This recognition allows Judas to address groups formally. Among the numerous venues to which Judas has been invited to speak are the conferences held by Yeshiva University’s rebbetzins and the Orthodox Jewish Nurses organization. She has spoken to semicha students at YU and has been called in by community rabbis to guide them to resources that can offer grieving families choices within halacha that can alleviate their pain. Judas has spoken to physicians in the field of infertility and has even addressed grand rounds in various community hospitals. She has spoken at Israeli seminaries in Efrat and Ra’anana. Closer to home, she has also addressed the staff at Camp Moshava. This November she hopes to travel with Yoetzet Shoshana Samuels to Los Angeles.
NechamaComfort operates out of offices at the Jewish Family Service of Bergen County on Teaneck Road. JFS generously provides the organization with space, printing and publicity expenses. Quite often, clients of NechamaComfort are guided on to the services provided by JFS.
What does Judas foresee for NechamaComfort? “We are looking to expand our services. This year we added three more women to our Board of Directors. Amy Baron, a pediatrician from Riverdale, Esther Levy, a registered nurse and Esther Krischer are all skilled professionals and dear friends who have a vision for NechamaComfort. We would like to work at creating a complete curriculum for Jewish families coping with losses. We are looking into organizing a hotline and matching service for families. We are also looking to organize memorial opportunities through an annual commemoration, memorial trees and memorial Shabbat candles. We are working on many exciting new ideas.”
Judas added that the group would like to provide Jewish referral and support groups for communities worldwide. “Bergen County has partnered with the city of Nahariya in exchanging ideas, training counselors and sharing information. We are even working on a ‘Health and Healing Trip’ which will bring American women to Israel to meet women who have suffered similar losses.”
How will these projects be funded? Currently NechamaComfort is financed by donations from private donors, including from the families who have benefited from its services. “We do some amount of fundraising within the communities such as the Teaneck event last week. Our evenings are aimed at raising the spirits of our attendees. We decided to host Eve Cantor of Shop Your Closet at our Teaneck fundraiser to provide a practical and uplifting evening. Our goal is to not allow a woman’s losses to define who she is.”
Eve Cantor of Monsey believes that every woman is beautiful and should feel beautiful at all times. Dressing well definitely contributes to this feeling. Through her service, Shop Your Closet, Cantor comes to your home for three to up to six hours going through your closets and re-organizing your stagnant clothing into attractive new outfits. She’ll take your sweaters from seminary, your fancy dating outfits, your expensive maternity blouses, your post-pregnancy dresses and re-work them into attractive new creations. In this way she helps you create a new, glamorous look for every day of the week without spending any additional money or exhausting hours shopping.
“From the audience’s positive reactions, we are confident that we lifted their spirits” says Judas of the evening. “Everyone benefitted. Our ladies were entertained and excited at the prospect of a new look and our finances were bolstered.”
To learn more about the special work of NechamaComfort visit nechamcomfort.com. The organization is available on Facebook and Instagram as well. To learn more about Shop Your Closet, Google Eve Cantor and watch her video.
