Join MJE for its 25th annual dinner on April 2.
In the 1960’s, Reb Shlomo Carlebach used to travel to the former Soviet Union with tefillin, mezuzot, yarmulkes and other religious items for Russian Jews. At the end of one of his trips, Reb Shlomo was packing his bags in his Moscow hotel room when there was a knock at the door. He looked through the peephole in the door and saw a young boy. Reb Shlomo opened the door, and the boy asked, “Are you the rabbi who gives out tefillin?”
“Yes I am,” Reb Shlomo answered, “but I gave all my tefillin away already. I’m so very sorry.”
The boy looked very sad, and with a tear in his eye innocently asked, “But next week I will be a bar mitzvah boy, how can I celebrate my bar mitzvah without tefillin?”
Reb Shlomo opened his suitcase and pulled out a pair of tefillin. Holding the old velvet bag with the tefillin, he knelt beside the boy and told him the following: “These tefillin belonged to my grandfather who was a great rabbi in Germany. They were also worn by my father in the concentration camps, and I have worn them every day since my bar mitzvah. Promise me you’ll use them and they’re yours.”
The boy promised Shlomo and thanked him. He headed for the door but right before he was about to leave, the boy put his hand on his bare head and turned to Reb Shlomo, saying, “Do you have an extra yarmulke?”
Reb Shlomo answered: “I must have given away hundreds of yarmulkes, but I have none left.”
The boy looked up and asked: “But how can I wear my tefillin without a yarmulke?” Sure enough, Reb Shlomo took off his ownyarmulke and handed it to the smiling boy.
I remember when I first heard this story wondering what compels someone to part with something so valuable and sentimental for a complete stranger.
When Moshe, who is raised in Pharaoh’s palace, goes out into the field and sees his enslaved brethren the Torah says: “Va’yar b’sivlotam”— “and he saw their affliction.” Rashi explains that “Moshe placed his eyes and his heart to be in distress with them.”Moshe didn’t just look from a distance at his oppressed brothers. He felt their pain. He was with them in their anguish which, no doubt, motivated Moshe to stand up for the Jew being beaten by an Egyptian taskmaster. Because Moshe felt connected, because he felt their pain, he stood up and took responsibility.
In last week’s parsha, Ki Sissa, we read about the Chayt Ha’aygel, the dramatic Sin of the Golden Calf. After all those who participated in the sin were punished, Moshe turns to the rest of the Jewish people— those who were not involved in the sin and tells them: “You have committed a great transgression and now I’ll go up to God, maybe He will forgive you for your sin.”
What sin is Moshe referring to? The Jews who committed the Sin of the Golden Calf were already punished! Moshe was addressing the Jewish people community who had not participated, so what sin was Moshe referring to?
My esteemed teacher Rabbi Jacob J. Schachter suggested it was for the sin of remaining passive. The sin of indifference. These Jews did not engage in the Chayt Ha’egel themselves, but they failed to prevent their fellowJewsfrom doing so. The Torah commands us: “Lo Ta’amud Al Dam Re’echa” – “Do not stand by the blood of your brother,” and our sages famously teach: Kol Yisrael Arevim Zeh Ba-zeh, -All Jews are responsible one for one other.” And so, even though only a relatively small part of Bnei Yisrael participated in the Chayt Ha’egel, the entire Jewish community was held responsible—because we are all connected. We may not always feel connected, but Hashem views and treats us as one. And there are moments that remind us that the world looks at us as one too. October 7 and all the antisemitism that has revealed itself since that day, is a harsh reminder of how the world looks at us—as one people, no matter where we come from or in what we believe.
The Radvaz compared the entire Jewish people to the body of a single individual: when one part of the body is in pain the entire body is affected. So, too, each Jew feels the pain and the joy of another because we are all but different parts of the same organism. In the midrash, RabbiShimon Bar Yochai compares the Jewish people to the passengers of a large ship beginning to sink. While the crewmen are desperately trying to find the cause of the sinking ship, they come across a passenger drilling a hole in the floor of his cabin, with the water gushing through. The passenger defends his behavior, claiming that since he paid for his cabin, he should be able to do what he wants. It is, after all, his cabin.
We’re all in the same boat. If one Jew stumbles, we all stumble. This is something which we have a history of overlooking. The Talmud says that when the Beit Hamikdash was destroyed, the tzadikim, the righteous, of the generation also perished because they did not lead the non observant towards greater involvement and commitment. The Rambam speaks about how Avraham publicly proclaimed Hashem’s name, bringing others closer to His presence. The Ra’avad asks why Sheim and Eiver (who, according to our sages, had their own yeshiva) did not speak out against all the idol worship of their time and try, like Avraham, to bring others closer to Hashem. The Kesef Mishna answers that it was precisely for this reason that Avraham was considered greater than Sheim and Eiver. Avraham and Sara cared about those who weren’t connected. They had a sense of areivus, of responsibility for their fellow man.
For the last 25years, I and the dedicated MJE staff have had the great merit of working with thousands of less affiliated young Jewish men and women, engaging them in all facets of Jewish life. Hundreds of our graduates are today leading lives of Torah and mitzvot, sending their children to Yeshivot and Jewish Day Schools. And it all happened because of that sense of Areivus, of a feeling of connectedness— that we are one family that looks out for each other. The Teaneck/Bergenfield community has graciously opened its doors for countless MJE Shabbatons over the years. So many incredible families from the community have rolled out the red carpet and hosted our many participants in their beautiful homes.
At our 25th Annual Dinner on April 2, we will be honoring Chani Perlman for educating and inspiring young Jewish professionals at MJE for the last 20 years! Moshe and Dahlia Bellows will receive the Distinguished Alumni Award, and our Senior Fellowship Program will be named for Moshe’s late father, Shael Bellows z”l. My dear friend, Yeshiva University President Rabbi Ari Berman, will receive MJE’s Rabbinic Leadership Award, and a special presentation will be made in memory of my beloved father, Leon Wildes z”l, for his many years of dedication to building and shaping MJE. Finally, Adam Elkaim, an active MJE participant who we are so proud of for his incredible spiritual growth, will receive MJE’s Student of the Year Award.
The April 2 dinner will be dedicated to the soldiers of the IDF and the release of the hostages. If there was ever a time to demonstrate unity and oneness, it is now. In the zechut of all the Areivus our community has shown, and all the Torah and mitzvot observed by our many graduates, may we see the success of the chayalim and the release of all the hostages.
For more information, visit jewishexperience.org
Rabbi Mark Wildes, founder, Manhattan Jewish Experience (MJE), a highly successful Jewish outreach program which engages 20’s/30’s in Jewish life and which has facilitated 383 marriages.
