It would be comical if it were not sad that the younger generation assumes that they know everything so much more competently than the older generation. Tradition in our family since our move to the States is that Bubbie takes her granddaughters shopping for Black Friday specials and craziness. It has become slightly easier since four years ago when we made our first foray into the horrors of this night. At that time we would pull up to Target at 11:00 p.m., to be met by lines of people outside of the store kept in line by barriers, with local policemen keeping the lines in tow. Now some stores have decided to open earlier on Thanksgiving, which gives the people longer hours to shop with less pressure of when they have to begin their mad dash.
As we got into the car to go to Target in Hackensack, one of my young passengers asked me if she should put on Waze to tell me the best route to take. I looked at her as if she was crazy and told her that I really did know the way from our home on New Bridge Road to the Target in Hackensack. “But doesn’t Waze know better?” I was asked. I then realized that it was not just the suggestion that Waze would definitely have a better route, it was more the realization that our children assume that everything needs to be checked with some type of hand-held device because we are no longer capable of having or knowing anything unless we consult with an iPhone, Android or iPad. Life experience counts for little anymore and older brains are assumed to have morphed into silly putty.
Amazingly, today, most people consider themselves to have gained enough life experience by the time they reach 30 to no longer consult with anyone about their decisions. What has made everyone so much smarter or more sure of themselves? Does it have to do with the entitlement generation where so many feel that so much is coming to them? Do we not breed this feeling by offering our children everything? How many of the young people today have to get jobs or work after school? No time? In the days when we went to school we took the subway or the T, as it was called in Boston, to get to school. There were no carpools. We walked or we took public transportation. Time? We certainly had less than most kids have today. We are excluding the necessity of being a part of every league, tutoring in every subject and needing occupational therapy to spruce up some meandering awkwardness. Who knew there was such a thing? Ask the Reichmans in Toronto or Heshy Friedman in Montreal or other well-known local business successes if they had all of these therapies and tutoring when they were younger. In most cases, summer camp was not a consideration. Instead, they apprenticed in the family businesses and worked themselves up or worked at odd jobs during their time off. Most teenagers today would not even consider working in a grocery store as a cashier when the alternative is to go to sleepaway camp or a trip to Israel. Who can blame them? We hear incessantly how expensive everything is and camp is one of the complaints often mentioned. Yet, we also hear how difficult it would be for a child not to go away because he would miss his friends, and then in many cases it would not give parents the “respite” that they anticipate with joy. Obviously, we are not speaking of children with special needs whose families so desperately need respite in the summer.
In a sense we guess that we are venting. The problem is that with all of these new, great, modern-day miracles we do not see how they are contributing to making our lives better. People speak with each other less often because they now text. We are often asked why we didn’t answer our text message within five seconds after having received it and the basic answer is that we do not walk around the house in every room holding on to our cell phone. We love speaking with people. Letters are no longer written because now we can email. Today we tried to get through to Google to make some adjustments to one of our accounts and there is no person to speak with. If your issue does not fall into a particular category of questions they ask you online you might as well just give up.
At the same time we were trying to get through to Dell. Sorry, you must talk to the computer. Find the category that best fits your crisis and then check off the box that best suits you. Guess what? None of them suited us. Too bad, you are doomed. Yes, the world is better for geeks, or is it? Will our children know how to relate to people by speaking? Will anyone ever write a business letter again without using email instead?
Recalling the beauty of the letters that Nina received from her grandmother in Haifa as she grew up, we guess that the generation of letter-writers is over. How sad. That must be the reason that older people’s minds are considered to be passe. We prefer to face a person when we talk with them, we prefer to give a real hug, not just a cyber hug, and we prefer to see the reactions on people’s faces when speaking with them. The glint in a person’s eye, the tears that fall in a sad situation, the excitement of a wide smile can never be replaced by an Apple, a Mac (which used to be a delicious apple), nor will it show us the real Waze to live our life.
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
