Have you ever gotten a prescription from a dermatologist for a skin problem? Chances are the prescription read: “Apply to affected area.” Pretty self-explanatory—that is, unless you needed several prescriptions for various dermatological issues, all going on at the same time. Unfortunately, this happened to me a few years back. It was a very confusing time, and this confusion was prolonged since the doctor chose that week to travel to a third-world country to help its poorest citizens with some unusual skin diseases. What a mitzvah girl! I would probably have been even prouder of her and her humanitarian endeavors if only someone on her team would have been able to explain where to apply the respective ointments! Well, the week passed slowly, but when the doctor returned from her mission, I got the answers I needed and put the healing powers of those ointments to work. I was comfortable and relieved. At my follow-up appointment, I made sure to have a conversation with the doctor about the conundrum of several medications meant for different skin issues. I could not imagine that I was the first person who ever had this problem. She told me that this really made her think, and that in the future she would be more specific with her instructions.
As usual, this got me thinking. What about the restorative and healing powers that Hashem has bestowed on all of us? How may we use these gifts and apply them to affected areas? In one of my workshops about elevating our actions for a more fulfilling life, I distributed some handouts, one of which was a list of personality traits and characteristics—compassion, sense of humor, honesty, dedication, great work ethic, gleaning inspiration, humility, patience, appreciation, graciousness, etc. The list contained about 30 attributes in all. We separated into groups to talk about the character traits that we each possess and to brainstorm about ways to call upon these personality elements as occasions may arise to put them to good use. We all possess many or most of these characteristics in varying degrees, and everyone picked the top 10 qualities that were most relatable. The participants were asked to take their 10-word list and prioritize them. Many shared stories of how he/she applied these features to the affected areas in their lives. Here are just a few stories—some more and some less dramatic—about how some very special individuals stepped up to apply their greatest powers to benefit others. All the names have been changed to protect the humble.
Sharon was very excited to be part of a great backyard playgroup one summer. She was carpooling with some very nice women, many of whom she did not know previously. Within the first week of playgroup, Sharon became aware that she was the only parent in the carpool whose child was the youngest. Every other parent had at least one younger child that she was schlepping along at carpool time. Sharon was an early riser and so was her son. They were ready long before carpool time. Sharon was very sensitive to the needs of her fellow carpool parents because she remembered how challenging it was for her back when she was in the same situation as these parents were that summer. So when it was raining, extremely hot or simply when she and her son were ready super early, she would call the parent responsible to carpool and offer to drive that day. Most parents did not know what to make of the offer, and even though they felt relieved, they told Sharon that they would be sure to drive on her day. Sharon explained that there was no need to reciprocate, but that she knew she could call on them if she needed them to drive on her day. To others, this seemed like a generous act of chesed, but to Sharon it was just common sense. Or, as I’d like to think of it, this is just the way someone so generous of spirit, like Sharon, always thinks.
This story of dedication and humility happened over 20 years ago, but it is one I will never forget. In the days before cell phones and text messaging, it was sometimes frustrating to try to reach people, especially when something important was happening that was time sensitive. On one of those occasions, I found myself in a predicament and needed an answer to a question pretty quickly. While I remember the story as if it were yesterday, I cannot for the life of me remember what was so important at the time that I called my friend’s house several times within an hour. Finally, I asked my friend’s young son where she might be, and when she was due to return. His answers were quite vague. He wasn’t sure when she was getting back, but he thought she was picking up a falafel. I couldn’t imagine that ordering a falafel would take so long, and I guess I was nervous at the time about something (who knows what). My friend’s son told me that the falafel was for someone in a different family. When my friend returned my call, I have to admit I was pretty curious. She sounded breathless but happy. When I asked her about her falafel adventure, she told me that she got a call from a family at Hackensack Medical Center whose son she had been visiting often. He was undergoing radiation and chemo treatments for a rare form of cancer. His appetite was severely diminished, and the family was thrilled to hear that he was hungry for a falafel. Another person who was thrilled and excited was my dear friend, who ran to grant the boy’s wish. Her dedication, her amazing midah of zerizut (the enthusiasm to get up and go for a mitzvah), along with her humility, always inspires me in so many ways.
In the summer of 2012, a dear friend offered me two tickets to attend the Siyum HaShas at Metlife Stadium. We had not planned on going—actually, we dropped the ball on getting tickets since the only time we had discussed the Siyum HaShas was on Shabbos. We were so thrilled to be there, among so many Jewish people of all stripes. There was electricity and magic in the air. The speeches were brilliant and heartfelt. For me, I would have to say that the most amazing moment of the night was when we were leaving. I was passing by a young woman working as an usher who looked absolutely giddy. When she smiled at me, I said, “You sure look happy—this is not like most concerts you’ve worked at here, but you seem to be enjoying this event.” The Latina usher replied, “I love this! I think it is so special for people all over the world to be learning the same thing at the same time as everyone else. To have learning in common with so many people is so exciting! It must make you all feel like one big family!” Her enthusiasm was contagious, and her ability to be so excited about something so foreign to her, that she was able to glean inspiration from us as a people, really took my breath away! Mi k’amcha Yisrael—Who is like you, Israel? Wouldn’t it be spectacular if our actions as am Yisrael were able to inspire people from all walks of life, knowing that we are united in the study of our most precious gift, the Torah, and performing amazing acts of kindness?
I hope you found these stories inspiring. Thinking about your wonderful qualities and considering how you may elevate your actions will help you apply them to the affected areas and people in your life! Enjoy the journey!
By Sariva Sklar, CFC
Sariva Sklar is a certified family coach with a practice focused on social skills and family dynamics. Sariva may be reached in her office 201-836-4227, or by email at [email protected]. Check out her website at www.smallwonderscoaching.com.
