We attempted to do some Chanukah shopping for our grandchildren last week. In Target, the line ran all the way to the back of the store. Cashier lines did not exist because you now stood on one long line and just waited until they would instruct you to which cashier you would go. It didn’t matter if you had one item or 20 items; it was still necessary to wait in that line. We realized that we were wasting our time that way. In a family of great believers in online shopping we had been converted long ago. Nina went home to the computer and within one half hour ordered everything that she wanted from Amazon with the knowledge that it would be delivered within one to two days (thanks to Amazon Prime). As they say, what a machaya.
As the family grows, the amount of time it takes to think of what to buy for each member becomes more and more challenging. As our grandchildren get older, and four have married, extra time goes into what their babies will get. We have met many people who have chosen the path of giving their children money, their grandchildren money, gift cards etc. We have never allowed ourselves that route. We like to take the time to really consider what it is that our children would like and then personally take the time to purchase it for them. We hope that one day this will be remembered and appreciated. Money as a gift has become the most common form of gift giving in families. We look at it as the easy way out. When you give a 10-year-old money, does it really mean anything to them? When you visit with them and you see them reading the book that you purchased for them, you hope that they will at some time figure out how much time and energy went into the thought process of choosing it. While we do enjoy giving each one a token Chanukah gift, we always keep in mind that we are not interested nor are we able to break the bank. We have found so many toys, books and clothing items that are loved and minimally expensive. It seems that no one really wants to take the time. An 8-year-old would probably be overwhelmed with a $10 bill but try that on a 15-year-old who probably spends that amount on lunch each day at EJ’s.
Although frequently we hear people pining for the olden days when things were so much better, we prefer not to talk about how much easier our life was prior to our move. We are grateful to be part of a generation that embraces the idea of family. Chanukah is an easy time for cousins, aunts and uncles and distant family members to get together. The world that we live in today enables many to travel over distances much more easily and affordably. Nina remembers so many times in her office in Montreal when someone would anxiously call her for a plane ticket to attend the funeral of a family member. In many cases, they had not seen each other in many years.
Undoubtedly there were many occasions that took place during the years that choices were made not to attend. We are not placing Chanukah on the level of a wedding; however, maybe it is, as it gives people the opportunity to spend real time with each other. How much time does a host or hostess actually get to spend with their guests at their weddings? When a family Chanukah party is taking place maybe that would be the right moment to make oneself more available for a visit.
In Israel it is customary to say Chag Urim Sameach wishing everyone a happy holiday of lights. The lights that shine for us almost as brightly as that of the menorah itself are the faces of our children as they each light their own menorah, and of the little ones as they spin their dreidels, sing Chanukah songs and tell us the story of the mean Antiochus whose name has many pronunciations depending upon the age of the child.
Our wish to everyone as the closing days of Chanukah come upon us is that we appreciate the “lights” in our lives as our primary function for the entire week.Try kisses and hugs before the gifts.
By Rabbi Modechai and Nina Glick
