As Moshe’s end was drawing near, he began to rebuke Bnei Yisrael, reminding them of their many misdeeds since leaving Mitzrayim. Interestingly, Rashi points out that Moshe merely alluded to the places where Bnei Yisrael faltered, but he didn’t express them explicitly. Rashi explains that Moshe employed this vague form of rebuke “because of the dignity of [Bnei] Yisrael.”
We can suggest that this would perhaps imply that theoretically, if the dignity of Bnei Yisrael wasn’t a factor, Moshe would have rebuked them explicitly, because an explicit rebuke—more than a vague rebuke—would have been more effective in helping Bnei Yisrael change and improve their ways; but, apparently, preserving their dignity and avoiding shaming them overrode this, and Moshe therefore opted for a less ideal, less effective, method of rebuke, thus possibly sacrificing and forfeiting the potential collective—both national and individual—gain that could have otherwise been achieved from an explicit rebuke. This may thus show how important it is to be careful about preserving people’s dignity and avoid causing them shame.
When Bilaam was riding on his loyal she-donkey on his way to curse Bnei Yisrael, Hashem sends an angel—with a drawn sword—to impede their journey. The donkey sees the angel, but Bilaam doesn’t. On three separate occasions, the donkey attempted to avoid the angel and diverted from the regular method of journeying, and each of these times, Bilaam hit his donkey. Finally, after the third whack from Bilaam, the donkey miraculously began speaking, and rebuked Bilaam, saying: “What have I done to you that you struck me … Am I not your she-donkey, that you have ridden upon me all your life until this day? Have I been accustomed to do such a thing to you?” Put in his place and forced to admit he was wrong, Bilaam conceded, responding with a flat out “no.”
Then, Hashem opened Bilaam’s eyes to be able to see the angel, and the angel said to Bilaam, “… you hastened on a road to oppose me … Had it (the donkey) not turned away from me, I would now even have killed you and let it live!” Rashi brings the continuation of the angel’s speech: “But now, because she (the donkey) spoke and rebuked you, and you were unable to stand up to her rebuke … I killed her, so that people should not say, ‘This (donkey) is the one that dismissed Bilaam with its rebuke, and he was not able to respond.’ [The reason being] because Hashem takes pity on people’s dignity.”
Despite the fact that Bilaam was a depraved and wicked person it seems that Hashem was concerned with the dignity of even such a person, and so, the donkey was killed so as to not cause Bilaam’s dignity to be compromised. Not only that, but much could have potentially been gained by keeping this donkey alive. The midrash (Bereishit Rabbah 93:10) states: “Woe to us from the day of judgment, woe to us from the day of rebuke. Bilaam, the wise man …. could not withstand his she-donkey’s rebuke … When the Holy One, Blessed is He, will come and rebuke each and every one … how much more so (will we not be able to withstand His rebuke)!”
Rav Henoch Leibowitz (Chiddushei HaLev, Balak) points out from here that since the episode of Bilaam and his donkey provided a valuable mussar lesson (concerning our experience that will take place in the next world when will we be judged and rebuked by Hashem), a tremendous benefit could have been achieved by keeping the donkey alive so that by seeing it, people could gain mussar attain Yirat Shamayim and be able to relate to the severity of the Day of Judgment (in the next world). Additionally, Rav Chaim Shmulevitz (Sichot Mussar 89) points out that keeping the donkey alive would have caused a Kiddush Hashem, for those who would see the donkey would say, “This is the one that Hashem opened her mouth (to be able to speak)!”
Yet, we perhaps see from here that despite the fact that many people could have been inspired and have grown in their emunah in Hashem by seeing this “miracle donkey,” and despite that people could have learned mussar from this donkey and improved their ways and reached higher levels of spirituality, nevertheless, all that was seemingly forfeited in order to preserve the dignity of Bilaam! This can perhaps show the importance of preserving the dignity of even a person of this sort, even overriding these lofty considerations and potential benefits.
The Gemara (Bava Metzia 59) brings: “It is better that a person should cast himself into a fiery furnace than that he should shame his fellow in public. From where do we know this? From Tamar. For it is written: ‘As she was taken out (to be executed), she sent to her father-in-law.’” When Tamar was being led to execution, she could have saved herself by simply stating that Yehuda, her father-in-law, was the father of her child, but this would have shamed Yehuda in public. To avoid doing this, she sent him a hint that Yehuda would understand. Essentially, Tamar was prepared to die, rather than expose Yehuda publicly as the father of her unborn child.
Rav Chaim Shmulevitz (ibid) points out that from Tamar ultimately came the kingdom of David HaMelech and Mashiach; and yet, the Gemara teaches us that it was still considered worthwhile for Tamar to give up her life rather than shame Yehuda in public!
From here as well we may see the importance of preserving another person’s dignity, for it perhaps seems that it was better for Tamar’s aforementioned glorious and impactful legacy to be forfeited, rather than Tamar infringing on Yehuda’s dignity by causing him to be disgraced and shamed.
It is perhaps a lack of recognition and appreciation of the dignity of others that may have even contributed to the destruction of the second Beit HaMikdash: The Gemara (Gittin 57) quotes R’ Elazar who said, “Come and see how great is the power of shame, for the Holy One, Blessed is He, assisted Bar Kamtza (in his plot to take revenge for the shame to which he had been subjected), and He destroyed His Temple and He destroyed His sanctuary.” It is perhaps apparent from this Gemara that the shame which Bar Kamtza experienced (the incident can be found beginning from ibid 55b), was so dear to Hashem that Hashem even helped Bar Kamtza achieve his unfortunate endeavors that ultimately led to the destruction of Yerushalayim and the Second Beit HaMikdash!
This can perhaps teach us the incredible extent of concern that Hashem maintains for the dignity of a person, thus shedding light onto the importance of heightening our appreciation and value for the esteem and dignity of others.
Binyamin is a graduate of Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan, and Wurzweiler School of Social Work.
