Author publishes new book in time for National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Highlighting: “A Strange Thing Happened: A Story of Pregnancy Loss” by Duba Schiff Aharon. Independently published. 2024. Paperback. 24 pages. ISBN-13: 979-8333437297.

About three years ago, a good friend of mine shared that she had experienced a miscarriage. She was about four months along when she noticed abnormal symptoms and called the doctor right away. Since she was aware of my prior experience working with kids, she contacted me, asking if I could recommend therapeutic children’s books for her young daughter to be comforted during this complex time. She had thought she would be a big sister and observed her mother throwing up for months and now her reality had drastically changed.

I scrolled through Amazon curiously seeking an age appropriate book for her daughter to assist in providing tools to support my friend to paint a clear picture of what had taken place in their family. I was quite surprised to find that there were not many books on this topic for children on the market. Most of the books that I found were overtly faith based or specific to families who experienced stillbirths or infant loss.

After not finding a book I would recommend, I was inspired to write one. It is my experience that to address a child’s suffering and confusion the greatest salve is to strengthen the attachment between them and their primary caregiver. My goals for the book are to provide a resource to families who have experienced pregnancy loss (at any stage) to open up conversation with existing young children. I wanted it to be accessible to a variety of audiences from different faiths and cultures and focus on psychoeducation, attachment, communication and healing for the family unit. The King of Attachment Theory, Bowlby is quoted to say, “to feel attached is to feel safe and secure (Jeremy Holmes, John Bowlby and Attachment Theory 1993).”

Following an event such as pregnancy loss a child is often fraught with terror and confusion when witnessing their parents experience pain. They may not understand what is happening, but they can pick up on the upheaval that has entered their home. These children will often exhibit reactions such as physiological discomfort such as stomach pain, difficulty sleeping, increased tantrums and or acting out behavior. Bessel Van der Kolk, known for his trauma work and award-winning book, The Body Keeps Score (2015), explains that “for our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety (2015).”

My book, A Strange Thing Happened, a story of pregnancy loss, provides a shared language for parents and children to explore pregnancy, pregnancy loss and naming emotions. The book creates a vocabulary for validating and processing children’s feelings in a gentle and affirming way and containing their emotions with physical affection. The content of the story educates parents and children to focus on their internal bodily response to their emotions and how to slow down and take a deep breath. It also educates how to assist children in feeling secure knowing that feelings come and go and whatever comes their way, as a family unit they can weather the storm together.

The story involves a son and mother as the center of the story and progresses to illustrate the son’s journey. The protagonist moves gingerly from preparing to be a big brother to then helping his mom pack up the baby clothes and storing it away in the closet. He glides from excitement to confusion and sadness. With the support of his mother, he finds safety and security through connection. It is a story of strength and resilience meant to join families who have experienced pregnancy loss to hold onto hope and each other and reach the other side of the rainbow hand in hand with hearts full of love.

If this children’s book can touch one struggling family, then I will feel fulfilled.

Duba’s book, A Strange Thing Happened, a story of pregnancy loss, is intended for children ages 2-8. It is written in simple terms that parents can expand upon depending on their child’s age and developmental stage. The book can be purchased on Amazon.com. During this month of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness, I wish healing days ahead to families affected and hope to also raise awareness to others to lend an open ear and heart to those grieving.

Duba Schiff Aharon, LCSW is currently accepting new clients and can be reached at [email protected]