A little Chanukah wisdom from a divorce lawyer goes a long way.
While I never thought I would be quoting Adam Sandler in my column here at The Jewish Link, it seems fitting for the occasion. As he once famously sang, “Chanukah is the festival of lights. Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.”
In the spirit of Chanukah, here are eight gifts that any divorce litigants can hope to receive:
- Peace and quiet during the holiday season. A successful co-parenting plan during the holidays is truly a miracle of cooperation. By working together and communicating openly, parents can create a harmonious holiday experience for their children. It’s essential to be flexible, compromise and find common ground. Remember, the children benefit most when their parents can put aside their differences and work together for their sake.
- A fast and amicable divorce. This is one of those gifts that you have a lot of control over. After everything that you have been through, working with your spouse toward an amicable divorce will benefit everyone involved.
- An attorney who is your right “fit.” I have previously preached about the importance of working with an attorney who only practices in the area of family law, and with whom you work well with.
- A fair and equitable settlement agreement. Rather than being pressured into signing something with which you do not agree, your agreement should, at the very least, be fair for both parties involved.
- Uninterrupted receipt of your support payments. One of the basic gifts should be your receipt of support when it is due and in the amount agreed upon or ordered. You would be surprised (or maybe not) at how often this does not occur. Probation and related wage garnishments can certainly help this process to ensure that payment is received, which is why the payor spouse often does not want it to happen.
- Parenting time with the kids without interference with the other parent. Holidays can be one of the most significant periods of adjustment for divorced spouses. Experiencing only half of a meaningful holiday, or not engaging in age-old traditions with your kids, can be heart- wrenching. Make new memories during the time you have with your children on Chanukah. Create new traditions, share cherished memories and focus on the joy of the season. Whether it’s lighting the menorah, exchanging gifts or enjoying latkes together, make sure to involve your children in the festivities. By creating positive and lasting memories, you’re contributing to their overall happiness and well-being and help them with whatever anxiety they may be feeling over Chanukah.
- Money in your pocket. Spending every penny that you have ever saved on your divorce litigation may leave you feeling empty once the case is over, especially when you determine where and how you are going to live and raise the children.
- Tasty latkes. It may not be divorce related, but it sure is important on Chanukah to have only the best potato latkes with applesauce on the side.
For those going through a divorce, I hope that you experience some, if not all of the above. With that, I wish our readers a happy and healthy Chanukah.
Eliana T. Baer is a partner in the Family Law Practice Group of Fox Rothschild LLP, representing clients statewide in divorce, asset distribution, support, custody, domestic violence, premarital agreements, and appellate practice. Eliana is a member of the boards of the Jewish Bar Association and the Family Law Executive Committee. Eliana has been selected to the Best Lawyers in America (2024-25); JD Supra’s Readers Choice Award for Family Law (2024); Super Lawyers – Rising Stars (2014-2024); New Leaders to the Bar by the New Jersey Law Journal (2018); “Top 10 Under 40” list by the National Academy of Family Law Attorneys (2017); and “Trailblazers” list in Divorce Law (2016)*. Eliana appears in both civil and rabbinical courts. You can reach Eliana at (609) 895-3344, or [email protected].
*Award methodology available at www.foxrothschild.com/eliana-baer/honors-awards.
