Dedicated to the refuah sheleimah of Ahuva Leah bas Yosifa Beracha
A few weeks ago, the Shabbat Project was marked throughout the Jewish world. Jews of all affiliations and backgrounds thus united in observing Shabbos.
It has become in vogue at the end of Shabbatons to have a Carlebach-style Havdala. Before beginning Havdala, with the lights off and the glow of the Havdala candle reflecting on everyone’s faces, the leader relates a story or a poignant thought while strumming gently on his guitar. Then Havdala is sung melodiously to very moving tunes.
On the Friday afternoon before the Shabbat Project, I was driving home from the yeshiva, Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck, where I am privileged to be a rebbe, in the early afternoon. My phone was almost dead, lingering at about 3% in low battery mode.
I received a text from a good friend who lives in Las Vegas. He was going to be leading such a Havdala and asked if I had any thoughts that he could share. I thought for a moment and then replied that, after a few strums on the guitar, he should ask the assemblage what was the first commandment that God gave to Adam in Gan Eden. Undoubtedly someone would answer that it was that Adam not partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. He should then reply that the Meshech Chochma notes that actually the first command was that he eat from all the other fruits in the garden. Only after telling Adam to enjoy the fruits of the garden, did He then add the warning that Adam not eat from the forbidden fruit.
The lesson is that living according to the mandates of God is not to restrict ourselves but to ensure that we live an elite connected life within the confines of biblical morality.I continued that some people view Shabbos as a restrictive day — a day of “don’t do this” and “don’t do that.” But that is a very poor understanding of what Shabbos is about.
Imagine an NFL rookie about to play in the Super Bowl. There isn’t an open seat in the stadium; the crowds are screaming and waving. They announce his name and he runs out onto the field high-fiving his teammates as the crowd erupts in raucous cheering. This is what he has dreamed about since he was a little boy. This is what kept him going when things were really tough. This is his dream come true.
Someone asks him at that moment why he’s so excited when the whole thing seems so overbearing. He has to wear a certain uniform and can’t choose his own clothes. He can’t use his cell phone during the game, and in fact, he can’t do anything except focus on the game. He can’t go buy a sandwich or get a drink from across the street; he can only drink what’s provided for him on the field. He has to listen to the instructions of the quarterback and the coach, and he has to go out there and work hard. It seems to be worse than prison.
The player will look at the questioner like he fell off the moon. Yes, he can’t do any of those things. But that’s all part of the glory of having the opportunity to play in the Super Bowl. Not only are those things not restrictive, they are part of the excitement of playing in the big game.
Shabbos observance indeed entails maintaining numerous restrictions. However, one who appreciates the essence of Shabbos, recognizes that the prohibitions of Shabbos are a vital component for our ability to gain from the greatness of Shabbos.
Throughout the week, we are busy living outside of ourselves, trying to do our part to improve the world and our own lives. On Shabbos, however, we turn inwards. It is a one-day honeymoon with our souls when we focus on what is really important in life. To be able to accomplish that we need to shut ourselves off from the outside world. That is accomplished by adhering to the prohibitions of Shabbos. Immediately after sending that idea in a voice note to my friend, my phone died.
When I arrived home and plugged in my phone, I saw that he had asked me to elaborate on what the connection was to Havdala. I replied that after we have spent a full day enjoying and celebrating what is really important in life, then we are ready to venture back out into the world with renewed spiritual strength. It’s kind of like plugging in a phone at the end of the day: After a few hours it’s charged and able to fulfill all of its functions for the new day. Shabbos is our souls’ plug that charges us up for the rest of the week.
After sending that reply, I took my almost dead phone and that’s exactly what I did.
Rabbi Dani Staum, LMSW, is a popular speaker and author. He is a rebbe in Heichal HaTorah in Teaneck and an experienced therapist who has recently returned to seeing clients in private practice as part of the Rockland CBT group. To schedule an appointment with Rabbi Staum, call (914) 295-0115. Looking for an inspirational and motivational speaker or scholar-in-residence? Contact Rabbi Staum for a unique speaking experience by emailing [email protected]. Archives of his writings can be found at www.stamtorah.info.
