There is no doubt that a rebbe can make or break a student and alter a student’s trajectory, affecting their very destiny. I struggled with ADHD and learning disabilities, coupled with a severe disinterest in anything school-related, so it’s safe to assume I wasn’t high on their list of great students. More likely, I was top on a different list, something like “most likely to attend summer school.”

Thankfully, it only takes a few.

In 1989, I was a 12th grader, doing very poorly in school and generally disliked by most rabbis, and, no doubt, the sentiment was mutual.

One day, literally out of the blue, this young, dynamic rabbi whom I remembered from my youth by the name of Rabbi Shraga Gross took over as principal of Hebrew Academy. Aside from coming from royalty — his parents built the first day school in South Florida almost 75 years ago — his love of Torah and klal Yisroel was palpable from the moment he came to town. He was universally loved because his ultimate goal was bringing people closer to God and his Torah. Plain and simple.

Although I only had him for one year, all I remember was his sincerity and kindness. When I left for my gap year to Israel, he eventually moved to New Jersey where he, along with his eishes chayil Shira, continued his legacy of teaching Torah.

My year in Israel proved to be an eye-opener, but I was still wild and once again, most of the rabbis didn’t like me. Except one.

His name was Rabbi Hirschorn. He had the vision to overlook my immaturity and ADHD and treated me with kindness and patience. One day, he somehow gave me the idea that I had some spiritual potential. I’m not really sure why, but I always remembered his encouragement. I also admired his complete devotion to learning Torah, yishuv haaretz, and raising an unbelievable family with his wife, Sarah, in Neveh Daniel.

The following year, I made my way to Yeshiva University where once again I failed every Talmud test. Luckily, unlike my high school years where my home was barraged with daily conduct referrals for failing and misbehaving, I met an angel by the name of Rabbi Aaron Selevan. His credentials were far and beyond teaching individuals such as myself, yet that didn’t stop him from educating all kinds with brilliance and patience, constantly inviting students for Shabbos meals.

After Yeshiva University, I spent some time at Ohr Sameach where I had the good fortune to find a powerhouse of a rav named RavYehoshua Bertram. Not just an all-star basketball player, this towering angel was (and still is) a magnet for Torah and ahavat Yisroel. He has changed the lives of so many because of his concern and constant devotion to Torah and doing the Razon Hashem. Plain and simple.

Fast forward 35 years, and I’m on a lecture tour for my book, “Real Questions Real Answers,” speaking and visiting with these very rabbis! Only this time, the student came as a teacher.

My first stop was Nitivei Hatorah, where Rav Gross was doing what I remember him doing 35 years ago: singing nigunim with his boys before learning Torah and engendering a positive energy. Sporting a suit and tie and cufflinks, Rav Shraga was running a well-oiled machine, infusing his divrei Torah as only he can, and touching the very neshamas of the students he teaches. As an adult, it’s easy to see what made him so successful all of these years.

My next stop was Nitivei Hatorah where I found my rebbe, Rabbi Hirschorn, doing the same thing he was doing 35 years ago: preparing for a class with copious notes. He introduced me as his craziest student ever, yet without his patience and wisdom, I’m pretty certain my life would have had a different outcome….

I did make a trek to Matisdorf where I had the zechut of seeing Rav Bertram, shlita. Not surprisingly, he was being visited by another old student whose life he no doubt changed along with countless others.

Rav Selevan left Yeshiva University and today his shiurim are legendary and he is a sought after lecturer throughout Canada and beyond.

What was it about all of these angels that allowed them to see me (and other kids that didn’t fit the mold) in a different light, when so many others couldn’t?

I believe what allowed them to see the forest from the trees was looking at the heart and not necessarily the words or brains of their respective students. All of these rabbis are extremely educated, accomplished teachers, yet nevertheless, were able to see beyond the obvious. They chose to place their egos on hold and look beyond the silliness and the lack of intellectual understanding. Rather, they chose to focus on Jewish neshamas that needed a little more patience.

This is perhaps the key ingredient to their unique success. Amazingly, each of these rabbis are not only teaching with the same passion that they had 35 years ago, but even more, they are growing in their own learning as well!

I remember when Rabbi Gross walked me out after my lecture and removed a piece of paper from his wallet. It was a list of all of the Gemaras he wished to complete. Even after a full day of teaching students and building a yeshiva, he’s still a student just like you and me! MAMISH GIVALDIK!

All of these great men chose to look beyond the outward and see people on a deeper level. Didn’t Hashem tell Jonah not to judge the people of Nineveh at face value? How many students are marginalized because they don’t fit into the box, yet often have untapped spiritual potential that lie dormant and undeveloped?

My father often speaks of the metaphoric telescope, the idea of bringing faraway things much closer. In other words, whenever you look at something, project 30 years ahead and envision its outcome as opposed to just seeing what it is today. I guess these rabbis had their own respective telescopes and chose to see their students as much more than students.

Rabbi Shraga Gross’ father, Rav Sender Gross, z”l built the Hebrew Academy around 75 years ago. As an 8-year-old boy, I vividly remember how he always referred to us as his “kinder” and even kept a file of many of his students monitoring their progress as they grew up. You see, to Rabbi Gross, we weren’t just another number. He saw us as Jewish souls. No doubt, these lessons trickled down to all of his children who have continued his great legacy. Indeed, the secret to all great rebbes can be encapsulated by what Rav Shraga, shlita mentioned to me on more than one occasion: “I don’t have students, I have children.”