It Takes a Village…

Welcome to parenting in Israel, where it’s not just your family raising your child—it’s the whole country. You see, Israelis love kids. Not just their own, but yours, too. And they’re not shy about sharing their child-rearing wisdom, whether you’ve asked for it or not. So let’s dive into some classic scenarios and how to handle them with grace—or at least a good laugh.

Scenario 1: “Lo Chashuv?” (“Isn’t That Important?”)

It’s a sunny afternoon. You’re pushing your baby in a stroller, when an elderly woman stops you with a concerned expression. “Lo chashuv?” she asks, pointing to your baby’s bare feet. Translation: Why isn’t your baby wearing socks? It’s 22 degrees Celsius (a balmy 72 Fahrenheit), but in her mind, your baby is seconds away from hypothermia.

Toolbox Tip: Smile, nod, and thank her. If you’re feeling playful, tell her you’ll consider knitting some socks right there on the spot. Just don’t expect to leave the conversation without at least two more tips about proper baby attire for “this weather.”

Scenario 2: The Feeding Frenzy

Breastfeeding? Bottle feeding? Organic carrot puree? It doesn’t matter how you’re feeding your child; someone will have an opinion. You might hear:

• “Aren’t you breastfeeding? It’s the best for the baby, you know.”
• “Why are you still breastfeeding? He’ll never learn to eat solid food!”
• “Why are you feeding him that? My granddaughter only eats quinoa and salmon.”

Toolbox Tip: Adopt a sense of humor. If someone comments on what you’re feeding your child, tell them, “Oh, we’re starting a new diet trend: chocolate milkshakes and falafel only.” Watch their face carefully for the mix of horror and confusion.

Scenario 3: Dressing For the Elements

Israeli winters are mild, but don’t tell that to the random grandmother on the bus who will insist your child needs a hat, gloves and possibly a snowsuit for the 18-degree Celsius (64 Fahrenheit) chill. On the flip side, if it’s summer and your baby has a sun hat, someone will inevitably suggest that they must be overheating.

Toolbox Tip: Let it roll off your back. If you can, respond with, “You’re right! I’ll take care of it,” and move on. No harm, no foul.

Scenario 4: The Playground Diplomats

You’re enjoying a quiet afternoon at the playground with your child when a stranger swoops in to mediate a sandbox squabble. Before you know it, they’re lecturing your toddler on sharing or praising them for their shoveling technique. Meanwhile, you’re left standing there, wondering if you should take notes.

Toolbox Tip: Remember that this intervention isn’t a critique of your parenting. Israelis genuinely believe they’re helping. Smile. Thank them for their input and remind yourself that you’re raising your child in a community where everyone cares.

Scenario 5: The “Everyone’s A Doctor” Phenomenon

If your child sneezes in public, expect at least three strangers to diagnose the issue. One will suggest chamomile tea, another will recommend a specific pediatrician, and a third might even insist on accompanying you to the pharmacy to pick out the “right” medicine.

Toolbox Tip: Accept the advice with gratitude and a touch of amusement. Israelis mean well, and their concern comes from a place of genuine love for children—yours included.

A Nation That Loves Kids

Remember, Israelis aren’t trying to undermine your parenting. They’re just part of a culture that takes a collective approach to raising children. It’s not unusual for a stranger to pick up a crying baby in a restaurant or for a cashier to coo over your toddler while scanning your groceries. It’s all part of the Israeli “village.”

So, when someone offers unsolicited advice or steps in uninvited, try to see it as a compliment. It means they care. And while it might occasionally drive you up the wall, it’s also a reminder that in Israel, you’re never parenting alone.

Olim Paveway’s Olim Toolbox is a regular series offering timely tips for anyone moving to Israel. Join our live Zoom chats, Sundays at 2 p.m., at https://tinyurl.com/2xkewrd4, and join our Olim Toolbox WhatsApp at https://chat.whatsapp.com/Ic8dNfdNlspGAPtmcCKtbf for more tips.

If you have a question or suggestion for a topic, please write to [email protected].