I was on my way to a showing this week on a blustery, freezing day. I decided to text the sellers and ask them to raise the temperature in their house before arriving with the buyers. A “toasty” home is definitely more inviting and, believe it or not, the buyers tend to stay a little longer. The husband answered my text as follows: “Let me check with my wife. She controls the heat from her phone and I’m really not supposed to change the thermostat.” The text was followed by one of those frightened emojis.

I guess I should consider myself lucky. My husband and I are pretty much in sync as to the optimal heat for the house. However, the more I ask around, the more I hear that this is not necessarily the norm. There are disagreements as to daytime temperatures, optimal sleeping temperatures, and the biggest argument seems to occur right around this time of year: What temperature do we keep the house when we all leave for vacation? I remember my parents arguing about this. I also remember my mother putting the tap on ever so slightly in every bathroom and in the kitchen to prevent the pipes from freezing.

I grew up in an attached house in Brooklyn where the old fashioned mercury-filled thermostats were controlled manually. Looking back now I guess it was a crude device but we always knew exactly where things stood with the heat. Years later the world advanced to the electronic thermostat followed by the programmable thermostat. This allowed the alpha member of the family to program the complicated system of days, hours and settings, thus taking control of the temperature in the house. No one would actually see the shift happening. It would just happen. It could be midnight and the heat would rise or fall at the whim of the programmer.

Fast forward to 2025. I was sitting in a friend’s home at the kitchen table when her adorable grandchild suddenly appeared and said: “Alexa, I’m cold!” Suddenly the heavens responded with the following:

“I can raise the heat in the kitchen to 72 degrees. Would you like me to go ahead and do that?”

My friend said she had been meaning to change the settings on her Alexa device which would block anyone but herself from choosing the temperature. However, she continued, it wouldn’t help. The grandkids would just change the settings back.

Nechama Polak is the broker of record and owner of V&N Group LLC, located at 1401 Palisade Avenue in Teaneck. Send your thoughts and comments to [email protected] or call 201 826 8809.