After spending several hours late at night in the emergency room of Lenox Hill Hospital this week, it seemed obvious to us that our message for Rosh Hashanah would be one we have tried over the years to imbue in our writings.
As we watched the discomfort of patients, the professionalism of the staff and the anxiety so many feel when they are in such a situation, we acknowledged several thoughts we have felt many times.
We all fall into the trap of believing we have control over our lives, but in fact that is not the case. We know things can change in the blink of an eye. This knowledge should remind us to always appreciate the good, the here, the now. We should not dwell on the little things that annoy us in our families, our friends and our community. For those of us who are sure our children will excel in everything, we should remember that not everyone was meant to be an athlete, a scholar, a cheerleader, a “gutte neshama” or a yeshiva bachur. We should remember the importance of loving those around us who have not accomplished what we originally expected from them. We were all created according to Hashem’s plan for us, and that knowledge should help us love others for who they are.
We would love for this to be the year that every one of us understands the beauty of opening our homes to those who live different lifestyles. We would love for this to be the year we would not hesitate, unless there is an obvious reason, to walk behind, next to or in front of someone who appears different. We wish this would be the year that families would go out of their way to invite non-religious family members to their homes and that brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, and even grandparents in some cases would pick up the phone to speak with a relative who has been estranged. We know it never works if we are always waiting for the other individual to make the first step. We need to be the initiators.
We would love for this to be the year that clergymen in the community are not bad-mouthed privately by their baalei batim. We would love for this to be year that people mingling in front of shuls before, during or after davening take the time to greet the person near them, whether they know them or not. For those who feel comfortable within their inner circle, trust us that there are many who are feeling “left out” in such situations. One small acknowledgement of a “Shabbat Shalom” means the world to someone looking around the room not knowing anyone.
We have been told there are men who receive no recognition after they receive an aliyah. We are suggesting that this be the year of change. We are including ourselves in this process. We know we definitely have qualities we need to work on.
Lastly, we wish this would be the year that husbands and wives took more “special moments” to be together. This really does not entail much. A date in the kitchen after everyone goes to sleep to have ice cream together—dare we say a pina colada? Yes, with older children this becomes more and more difficult. Five minutes of concentrating on each other is certainly feasible for everyone who truly wants to enhance their marriage. Forgetting all of the “you said, I said, etc.,” and remembering the fondness and love that brought you two together, that is what is important.
Our evening in Lenox Hill, we believe, was a gift from Hashem to once again remind us of all we have to give thanks for. Our marriage, our children, our friends (new and old); we are wealthier than most.
We wish everyone a Shana Tova and we hope our message will encourage any of you who have hesitated to take some of the above steps to incorporate them into your life in the coming year. Appreciate what you have, and make changes where necessary. May you have much success.
By Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick
Rabbi Mordechai and Nina Glick are living in Bergenfield after many years of service to the Montreal Jewish community. Rabbi Glick was the rav of Congregation Ahavat Yisroel as well as a practicing clinical psychologist in private practice. He also taught at Champlain Regional College. The Glicks were frequent speakers at the OU marriage retreats. Nina coordinated all Yachad activities in Montreal and was a co/founder of Maison Shalom, a group home for young adults with special needs. They can be reached at [email protected].
