This past week I have been feeling a bit down. I had to make sense of this feeling since there is so much in my life that is going great. Why was I feeling this way? This morning I was lying in bed thinking about the day ahead when I had my “Aha” moment. I realized that in the past two weeks I have been surrounded by loss.
Just one week ago, a beloved client passed away. I had worked with her for over a year helping her sort through papers, bills, her files and incoming mail. I grew to love and respect her. Her death was unexpected. My initial reaction to the news was surprise and then I felt numb. I went into “organizer mode” thinking about what needs to be done in her apartment to help her daughter put closure on the space.
Two weeks ago, I was contacted by an attorney who had been assigned administrator of an estate. I have been tasked to sort through the remaining items in the home and locate important papers and items of value. I never met the deceased, but I am getting to know him now by what I am sorting through.
In another recent case, I was hired by the adult son of a woman who recently passed away. I am helping to pack up valuable objects in the apartment so that the family can sort through them later while they figure out who wants what. Once again, I am working on behalf of a deceased person whom I never met.
And the last wake-up call was when a dear friend and colleague from out of state sent an e-mail informing me that her husband passed away suddenly, unexpectedly. He was the love of her life. He was 65.
You may ask why I am taking this so hard? In my four examples I only personally knew one person. But once I get involved in a case they become my friends. I feel their presence and energy when I enter their homes even if we’ve never met. I am privileged to be responsible for handling their personal belongings, a task that I take very seriously. Their possessions tell me their life story. Wedding albums, art work, fine china, clothing, vehicles, beauty products, legal papers, personal letters, stuffed animals, children’s games, sporting equipment, record albums, jewelry, family photos… and the list goes on. You know what I am talking about because we all have this stuff!
I had never met my friend’s husband, but she spoke so highly of him with such love. Once again it made me realize what a gem of a husband I have and how lucky I am to have him in my life. And it made me question if I let him know enough how much I appreciate his love and commitment, and my joy of our many years together.
What is going to happen to your personal belongings when you are no longer here? Do you want a stranger like myself to sort through your home to look for the keys to the safe deposit box, the title to your car, the deed to your home or the $10,000 in cash that you hid in the linen closet for emergencies and then forgot where you hid it?
My advice is to take care of these things now while you are alive, present and still able to have the conversations with your family, friends, financial advisor, accountant and attorney. The kindest gift you can give your family is to leave your affairs in order. And make sure to end your phone conversations with loved ones with a positive message and words of love and affection.
My advice to myself is to cherish my relationships and not take things so seriously. Life is short, let’s celebrate. I promise to keep my affairs in order for our son to handle someday. And I want Don to know every day just how special he is and how much I appreciate his love, companionship and support as we continue to age.
Happy Organizing!
By Eileen Bergman
Eileen Bergman is a professional organizer, a proud member of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO) and the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD). Eileen is listed in the resource directory for the Hoarding Disorder Resource and Training Group. Eileen may be reached at 973-303-3236 or [email protected].
