(Courtesy of OHEL) The death of a child is an unimaginably heart-wrenching tragedy that can impact the daily lives of those who have endured it. While the age of a child has little bearing on the breadth of one’s grief, it is OHEL’s observation, and we have been repeatedly told, that the loss of an adult child has been insufficiently acknowledged or addressed. It is with this in mind that OHEL’s trauma and bereavement program has initiated support programs and services for parents who have lost adult children—whether through illness, suicide, accidental drug overdose or natural causes.
Many of the couples had attended OHEL’s first-of-its kind Weekend Retreat for Bereaved Parents, which was held at the beautiful grounds of Camp Kaylie at OHEL, upstate New York, in May. Our most recent event, “Grieving Alone, Grieving Together,” attended by over 30 parents, was hosted at the OHEL Jaffa Family Campus last Monday.
The two guest speakers for the evening were Dr. Norman Blumenthal, director, OHEL Miriam Center for Trauma, Bereavement and Crisis Response, and Rabbi Mordechai Dov Fine, rav of Congregation Machzike Hadas, Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Rabbi Fine spoke powerfully about the importance of emunah in times of hardship, and his message resonated with many of the parents, while Dr. Blumenthal validated the grief and sense of loss parents experience.
While no parent may fully recover from the loss of a child, providing psychoeducation and support can help parents move forward, taking the love and memories of their child with them. These OHEL retreats and group events provide a unique and irreplaceably safe, warm and welcoming environment, where parents become more comfortable in sharing their stories, and build life-long friendships of support amongst their peers who understand.
Those couples new to the group were warmly and sensitively welcomed. All parents looked to support and encourage each other. They spoke of one another’s losses, and shared one another’s pain.
One couple commemorated the fourth yahrtzeit of their daughter, and spoke beautifully about her and what has helped them cope with their loss. Several other parents were in the planning stages for a first yahrtzeit, and so this touching story provided much support to these parents.
The gratitude and transformative value expressed by all the participants for both the retreat and this latest event were overwhelming. Couples expressed how “the retreat has gotten them through the last few months,” some saying they “keep quoting all the things [they] learned at the retreat,” “this program was just what [they] needed” and “thank you to OHEL for doing this for us.”
David Mandel, CEO of OHEL, who was also in attendance, commented, “The turnout of both events speaks to the inherent need of support services for such parents, which OHEL feels privileged to provide.”
OHEL Children’s Home and Family Services offers a breadth of services that meet the everyday needs of individuals and families. To access more information or services please call 1-800-603-OHEL, email [email protected] or visit www.ohelfamily.
