Last week we discussed the idea of having an emotional emunah: Understanding emotionally, and feeling strongly that Hashem is the only One in complete control of our lives. We gave a suggestion of how to reach that, and that is by using the imagery of a baby in its mother’s arms – to imagine and feel the security and trust of the baby relying completely on its mother for its well-being. Let’s take this idea of emotional emunah a step further.
If we break it down, the idea of emotional emunah essentially borders on the idea of bitachon – trusting in Hashem that everything He does is the best thing that can possibly happen to you. “Emunah” is in the realm of knowing – to know intellectually that everything is from Hashem, that everything is for a purpose, and that its the best thing that can happen to you. “Bitachon” is in the realm of emotion, to have all this knowledge deeply rooted in one’s heart and emotions. The practical difference between the two is when one is in the midst of adversary: With just emunah, a person will remain faithful to Hashem even though his heart may be grappling with that idea, and thus, he may yet experience tremendous emotional turmoil. However, when one has developed bitachon, one not only remains faithful to Hashem, but also can experience emotional calm and positivity in the face of difficulty.
The pasuk in this week’s Parsha states, “and to Him [Hashem] you shall cleave (Tidbak)”. In hebrew, the word for glue is “devek”, which is the root of the word “tidbak” – to cleave to Hashem. What’s this idea of being glued to Hashem? How are we – who are made of flesh and blood – expected to “cleave” to Hashem who is beyond the realm of physicality? The Meshech Chochmah explains that to cleave to Hashem means to have bitachon in Hashem.
We learn from this Meshech Chochma, that with the skill of bitachon one can actually reach a state of “cleaving” to Hashem, remaining glued to Him emotionally and intellectually. Bitachon is an exercise that we’re constantly training for. The Chovot Halevavot writes that what is more necessary than all other things for one who serves God is placing one’s trust in Him for all matters (Intro to Shaar Habitachon). Thus, if working on bitachon is more necessary than all other things to connect to Hashem, naturally we are going to be faced with numerous instances in life where we will be put to the test, where the image of the mother cradling her baby starts to fade and gray away. One practical scenario of this is the following: Many of us are trained to “label” life events. When something goes wrong in any capacity it may be, besides for the inherent pain that is felt which is normal, there is also a perspective we impose on the situation: We label the situation as bad. Every time we are faced with some discomfort, some challenge, our impulse will be to view it with negativity and judge it with pessimism. Besides for the pain inherent, what that can create is potentially a whole stream of mental and emotional havoc which can make the situation much harder to deal with than the pain. The pain is painful enough, but it’s our deep rooted perspective of the pain and situation itself that really brings us down. Truthfully, we’re taught to think like this. I’m sure you’ve had a time where you were relating to someone a certain difficulty you were going through, and the classic empathic response was, “oh that is just horrible.” While that expression of empathy can actually be appropriate at times, what it also does is re-enforce our perspective to view similar challenges with the label of horrible.
What bitachon does is that it causes a 180 in our mindset. It reframes every situation to label it with optimism, giving a new light and meaning to whatever difficulty comes our way. In that sense, our entire perspective on life can change, and instead of emotionally responding to situations with irritation and negativity, a person can actually feel good about the difficulty itself. Life itself takes on a whole new meaning and experience. Many people want to know how they can bring Hashem into their lives. This is how to do it. When someone has bitachon, he is literally bringing Hashem into his every day affairs. If that isn’t considered “cleaving” to Hashem, then what is.
By Binyamin Benji
