It’s fair to say that this is not an easy time for anyone, least of all the parents of children—from preschoolers on up—whom they must delicately shepherd through these unchartered waters.
For teachers and parents alike, it’s important to provide social and emotional support to children during these perilous times because it can impact their learning, their self-perception, and their ability to navigate the world.
As parents, the first thing to know is this: Don’t sweat the small stuff and don’t expect perfection. Loosen the strict limitations you ordinarily place on screen time. Lower our standards regarding housework. In other words, do the best you can and don’t be too hard on yourself. At this point it is far more important to remain calm and emotionally available to your children. Keep in mind that children sense a parent’s stress—and react with their own elevated levels of stress, which can make for a negative home environment.
The truth is, the loss of a typical classroom education and socialization with classmates isn’t ideal, but if a well-planned distance learning program and excellent online instruction takes its place for a few months there will be no lasting detrimental effect on students.
Parents play an important part in this process. And so, here are a few key steps parents can take to ensure children don’t lose academic ground and maintain their mental and emotional health during this challenging time period:
Create structure: As a parent, it’s your job to ensure that your children show up to their online classes on time and ready for work so that they don’t lose academic ground. To help them, create a comfortable space dedicated for school work.
Set online limits: Flexibility is the word of the day in terms of the amount of screen time you allow your children in the time of COVID-19, but that doesn’t mean you can’t set clear limits. Monitor screen time, as well as the nature of online activities, and direct children toward the wealth of apps and programs that are both educational and engaging. It’s a great time to encourage children to use the internet to learn a new hobby or skill.
Make it a family affair. Take advantage of the family’s time at home by spending quality time together: Read books, do puzzles, bake cookies, paint and play, garden, go for long walks (fresh air will do you all good!). These may be tough times but they can also be times that provide children with some of their best childhood memories. Speaking of family…now is the perfect time to FaceTime family and friends living in faraway places to catch up and reconnect.
Spread a little kindness. We’re always stressing to our children the importance of engaging in acts of chesed—acts of kindness and compassion—each and every day. Well, there’s no time like the present. Brainstorm with your children ways in which you can help the community and those less fortunate with projects.
Keep it simple and reassuring. Children are less apt to feel stressed when they feel in control, and they’re more apt to feel in control when they are provided with knowledge. Of course, information should always be dispensed in an age-appropriate manner. But as a rule of thumb, be honest and accurate, clear and simple, and avoid being gloomy. Most of all, make sure children know that everyone is working hard to keep them safe and healthy, and that they play a big part in keeping themselves healthy by practicing good health habits.
Beware of information overload. Older children especially may be scared of things they’ve heard or seen on television or social media. Therefore, it’s a good idea to monitor and limit social media and screen time to prevent children from becoming oversaturated with frightening messages. Also, explain to children the importance to listen only to reputable sources, and to beware of false information on the internet.
Watch for behavior change. Despite your best efforts, the possibility remains that your child may suffer from elevated levels of stress and anxiety. Watch for telltale signs—e.g., changes in sleep patterns and appetite, and excessive hand-washing. If basic stress reduction techniques like deep breathing don’t help, reach out to your primary care provider or a licensed therapist.
Stay healthy!
Jackie Herman is head of school at BiCultural Hebrew Academy in Stamford, CT.