Talya and Aleeza were good friends who had plenty in common. Possibly the most unique thing they shared was the love of taking ridiculous things ridiculously seriously. For one example, during a Shabbat afternoon hide-and-seek game when they were little, Talya hid from Aleeza for five hours until Shabbat ended. Aleeza would not give up, and the game only ended because Aleeza’s father found Talia sleeping inside the recycling can on the side of the house. Aleeza held onto this hide-and-seek grudge for three years, and took out her revenge by hiding in her own closet, even though the game was being played at Talya’s house. This led to a lengthy debate about the boundaries of hiding places, particularly regarding hiding in other places around the neighborhood. Eventually, the girls authored and published “The Official Guide to Hide-and-Seek,” which sold four copies.
Another silliness that Talya and Aleeza took seriously for no good reason was “jinxing” each other. As the unofficial rules of the game state, if two people say the same thing at the same time, the first person to exclaim, “Jinx!” effectively silences the second person. This person may not speak until somebody utters the victim’s full name three times in succession. According to Talya and Aleeza, full names included middle names as well. Additionally, they considered it against the rules to ask someone to “unjinx” you through any form of communication.
It once happened that the seriousness with which Talya and Aleeza treated the game of Jinx threatened their friendship. The incident in question took place on a cold January afternoon, with Aleeza’s family preparing to board a plane to Madagascar for their winter vacation. Aleeza had been talking about this vacation for weeks, and was super-excited to go. Talya was happy for her friend, despite the fact that Aleeza did not stop talking about the trip. Aleeza’s family had gone on a number of exciting vacations in the past—Italy, Alaska, Scotland, Antarctica, and even the Moon—and Aleeza always talked and talked and talked and talked about her trips, both beforehand and afterwards. This didn’t bother Talya, who would just smile, roll her eyes, and let Aleeza carry on. Talya didn’t have much to discuss anyway; Did Aleeza need to hear about Talya visiting Detroit and testing out her grandmother’s new rocking chair?
As Aleeza and her family were waiting to board the plane to Madagascar, Aleeza FaceTimed Talya for their usual session of talking, telling jokes and discussing the latest Kosher Memes. After 20 minutes or so, it was time for Aleeza to go. This also meant it was time for Talya and Aleeza to go through their official “goodbye” ritual. One girl would say, “Smell you later!” and the other would respond with “Not if I smell you first!” However, Talya forgot that it was Aleeza’s turn to start, so they both said, “Smell you later!” at the same time. Of course, this was followed by a “jinx!” from Aleeza, immediately muting Talya. But before Aleeza was able to say “Talya Beatrice-Hermoine Klar”’ three times, her phone died, leaving Talya stuck.
“It’s OK,” thought Talya, as she made a mental note to add an “emergency situations” section to their “So You’ve Been Jinxed” rulebook. “Aleeza will just call from one of her parents’ phones.” However, this call never came. Nor did this call come the next day or the day after that or the day after that or the day after that. Talya, taking being jinxed with the dignity and seriousness it deserved, remained silent for five straight days. Even worse was that Talya’s parents recognized all the signs of jinxing, but they couldn’t unjinx her. Talya and Aleeza had recently pulled off the “two kids in a trench coat” trick to perfection, tricking the workers at the local government office into believing that Talya’s mother wanted to switch her middle name from Leora to Beatrice-Hermoine.
Left without the ability to speak for five days, let’s just say Talya’s feelings towards
Aleeza weren’t exactly positive. However, she was able to keep a positive attitude about it for the first three of them. “Maybe she has no Wi-Fi or service there” and “maybe Aleeza thought I wouldn’t take it so seriously” were two thoughts that Talya used to comfort herself. But on Day Four things got bad because social media got involved. Like many people do, Aleeza’s parents posted hundreds of pictures of their trip on social media. Talya’s parents showed her these pictures, and after seeing Aleeza’s smile while she fed a watermelon to a hippo, Talya lost it. “I can’t believe Aleeza left me like this and she’s having an amazing time!” Talya screamed (inside her head). “I hate her!”
Talya sat in her room for the next day and a half thinking about how much she hated Aleeza. To further express her anger, Talya put a picture of Aleeza on the dartboard in her room, which quickly improved the accuracy of Talya’s dart throws. However, this only added to Talya’s anger. By the time Day Five came to an end, Talya was so tired from being angry that she fell asleep at 7 p.m.
However, in the middle of the night, Talya was woken by the sound of “Elmo’s Song.” This could only mean one thing—Aleeza was calling. Talya considered ignoring the call, but picked it up just as Elmo was telling us that “he wrote the words.” Talya sniffed so that Aleeza could tell she was listening. “Talia Beatrice-Hermoine Klar! Talia Beatrice-Hermoine Klar! Talia Beatrice-Hermoine Klar!” shouted Aleeza. “Please tell me you haven’t been jinxed this entire time! My parents said I wasn’t allowed to use any electronics the entire trip, and they didn’t believe me when I told them about the jinxing! Please tell me you didn’t take it seriously!” Before Talya could even think, she found herself screaming right back. “Why do you always have to make such a big deal about your vacations! Don’t you know how that makes me feel?”
Shocked at her own words, Talya was silenced once again. Why did she just say that? She meant to scream, “I hate you!” or “How could you do this to me?” Was she really feeling jealous this entire time? Was that the problem? Aleeza seemed to pick up on this as well. “I’m so sorry, Talya! I never knew!” “Neither did I,” replied Talya. “Neither did I.” And just like that, all was forgiven.
This week’s parsha deals with jealousy and hatred. At the start of the parsha, we are told that Yaakov loved Yosef more than his other sons, which caused Yosef’s brothers to hate him. Yosef then tells his brothers about his dreams, which brings more hate. Finally, at the end of the first Aliyah, we are told that Yosef’s brothers were jealous of him. Why is jealousy only brought in now? Weren’t the brothers jealous of Yosef right away?
The solution is in the phrase that follows the first report of hatred: “They hated him and could not speak to him peacefully.” Their feelings of hatred stemmed from jealousy, but they could not speak with Yosef. Therefore, they weren’t able to get past the hatred and realize it was just jealousy. Only Hashem was aware of this and tells us so through the Torah. The message here is clear—talk about your feelings. Negative feelings are often a result of something bothering you. Talk about it with someone you trust. It’s amazing what talking can accomplish.
By Yair Daar
