This year, more than ever before, we may have felt very distant from others and from God. When the Torah describes the final plague in Egypt, “there was no house where none had died” [1], there are few of us that this does not resonate with today. Yet, underpinning the Haggadah and its accoutrements is reconciliation with—and yearning for—God. The Seder provides an opportunity to recall and retell our origin story. On the anniversary of our elopement with God into the desert we share memories of how we first met and fell in love and how, despite the attractions of Egypt, our love for each other held firm. We recreate the symbols that surrounded us in the early period of our relationship with the goal of recapturing the love and “kindness of our youth.” [2] As the evening progresses and our senses are enlivened, other holy emotions like sadness and anger are also welcomed to the table.
After drinking our third glass of wine we pour a cup for Elijah, and proceed to demand that God do some pouring of a different kind: Shefoch chamascha el hagoyim: “Pour out your wrath on the nations that do not know You… Pour out your fury on them… Pursue them in rage and destroy them from under the heavens of the Lord.” Like veterans re-experiencing the trauma of war, on Seder night our experience of revisiting our darkest places and times (both historical and current) has the potential for powerful emotional expression. The Haggadah incorporates symbols and readings that facilitate expression of sorrow and grief [3], and in this section of the Seder we allow for the emotion of rage.
The Tanach refers to anger in its various forms and expressions over 500 times [4], significantly more than any other emotion. Yaakov is angry with his wife Rachel; Jonah is angry with God; Moshe is angry with the people; the people are angry with Moshe; Moshe is angry with his nephews; Pharaoh is angry with his servants; God is angry with Moshe; God is angry with Miriam and Aharon; God is angry with the people; Shaul is angry with his son Yonathan; Jeremiah is angry with God; Habbakuk is angry with God, etc., etc.
More important than simply noting the frequency with which a concept arises, the Kabbalists teach us to examine the first occurrence of the concept or emotion in the Bible. This provides a lens through which to understand and gain perspective on all future biblical references to it, and is instructive for our own lives.
Anger first appears in the story of Kayin and Hevel.[5] Kayin becomes “exceedingly angry” when Hevel’s offering is found more acceptable than his. God asks him “why are you angry…” and (seemingly without waiting for a response) proceeds to tell Kayin that he still has an opportunity to harness his anger, perhaps even channel it to a constructive use. Kayin is apparently unable to rise to God’s challenge to identify and take control over his anger. Rather, consumed by his anger, he kills Hevel.
God and our Biblical ancestors appear unafraid to publicly demonstrate their anger, perhaps making them more relatable to later generations. Anger—be it God’s or ours—seems to be an inevitable part of life. Unless we believe that we are greater than our Creator, anger would seem to be something that we should welcome and cultivate, rather than attempt to eradicate through piety or training of the mind.
In the aftermath of the Golden Calf betrayal, God self-describes as “slow to anger” [6]—not devoid of anger! As a human being charged with the responsibility of emulating God in my life, [7] I have “permission”—perhaps even a mitzvah or “obligation”—to express anger at injustice. This attribute (and the passage in general) directs us to acknowledge our anger, just as God does. God doesn’t apologize or feel shame for having and expressing this emotion. From these teachings we can infer that God is challenging each of us to “own” our anger and to take responsibility for it along with our other emotions; to confront our anger rather than avoid it.
With this in mind, we can interpret the question “Why are you angry?” that is sometimes directed at us as: “OK, you’re angry. Now what are you going to do with that anger?” Will it be left unchecked, or can it be mastered just as we are enjoined to master every other object and emotion that God puts into our world? [8] Maybe we can ultimately learn to emulate Moshe who selflessly employed his anger in the service of God,[9] or Pinchas who used his anger to defend God’s honor and end a plague. [10]
It is our responsibility to cultivate a thought-out response that emulates God’s attribute and directive of being “slow to anger.” Open discussion, recognition and validation of the emotion, rather than avoidance, allows the parties involved to healthily express anger along the pathway to reconciliation.
At the Seder we create a safe space for a wide range of emotions. May the process of emotional and spiritual growth through the Seder’s 15 steps bring us healing and wholeness, and may the plague of death be rapidly eradicated from our lives.
[1] Exodus 12:30
[2] Jeremiah 2:2
[3] Examples include: the breaking/broken matzah and subsequent search for wholeness; the egg symbolizing fertility, death and the circle of life; maror representing the bitterness in our life (combined with our quest to palliate it with charoses); saltwater representing our tears, etc.
[4] 5 Hebrew words are used to convey anger in the Bible: af 200+ references, chaimah 125, charah 93, ketzef 62, kaas 75.
[5] Genesis 4:3
[6] Exodus 34:6
[7] Babylonian Talmud Tractate Shabbat 133b, expounding the imperative of Imitatio Dei found in Deuteronomy 10:12 & 28:9
[8] Genesis 1:28
[9] Exodus 32:19
[10] Numbers 25:11
Rabbi Daniel Coleman, MBA, is sought after for his creative, contrarian and strategic approach to career preparedness, transitions and success. Daniel is often invited to present to high school groups on managing the college admissions process and college and career preparedness. Reach him at [email protected].
