Whew! Yeshiva Break is now behind us. As I was navigating the whirlwind of our family “vacation” last week, it occurred to me that in many ways our recently completed vacations are a metaphor for our own life paths. Seems like a stretch? Think about it:
1. Our time is limited. On any vacation, we have a limited amount of time from when we embark from home until we return at the end of our trip. That vacation time is precious because we can only do so many things before the trip is over, and once the trip is done, it cannot be re-done (at least not for a while). Similarly, while we may not always think this way, in general our time is finite. There is only so much that we can do and accomplish in this life before the “trip is over.”
2. We have the power to choose, and choices have consequences. On a vacation, the choices that we make obviously aren’t life or death. They are small things: Should I have a pina colada or a strawberry daiquiri? Should I go to Magic Kingdom or Hollywood Studios? But though these choices may seem trivial, when on vacation we make affirmative choices in a way that is often more obvious than in our ordinary lives, where our choices are more routine and therefore less obvious.
3. The importance of having an ayin tova and of being grateful. On any trip there are ample opportunities to complain or find fault: “The mattress was too hard”; “The service in the restaurant was slow”; “The lines were so long”; and on and on. Having a negative attitude, however, is a surefire way to ruin a trip before it even starts. Instead, the best way to enjoy a trip is through gratitude: gratitude that we have the opportunity to go on a vacation at all, gratitude to the employees and service providers who help us along the way, and gratitude to the other members of our travel party.
4. Bumps in the road are inevitable. On a trip, especially a family trip, it is a 100% certainty that not everything will go according to plan. Don’t be fooled by Facebook updates showing seemingly perfect trips with sweet and compliant children; it is a basic rule of the universe that on a trip some things will go sideways. The question to ask when this inevitably happens is not, “Why did this happen?” or “Who messed up?” but rather, “How am I going to make the most of this situation?”
5. No trip or vacation is the same for any two people. Each person is unique, with different preferences and interests, and it is highly unlikely that any one person would choose the same exact vacation as another. One person may like sitting on the beach, while another may find it boring; one person may find exploring a new city exhilarating, while another finds it exhausting. Each person’s vacation is effectively customized for them based on their desires, family situation, budget, etc. And if we spend our trip wishing that we were going on someone else’s vacation instead of our own, then we are guaranteeing that not only will we not be going on that other person’s vacation, but we won’t have much fun on our own vacation either.
Our Yeshiva Breaks (or vacations at other times of the year, for those who did not travel last week), whether we stayed close to home or traveled great distances, are a precious opportunity to get a break from the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. In addition to a welcome respite, that distance can help us see our lives “back home” through new eyes and can provide insight and inspiration for our typical routines.
My prayer is that we are all both refreshed and refocused as we return from Yeshiva Break and re-embark on the “trip” that awaits us every day when we wake up in the morning. Shabbat Shalom and welcome home!
Steven Starr is an attorney and lives with his wife, Keshet, and his children, Ellie, Moshe Meira and Rina in Hillside, New Jersey.
