The virtues of kindness, generosity and charity aren’t as meaningful if you are forced to practice them. Most people would say it’s preferable to help others because you want to, not because you need to in order to graduate. Nevertheless, schools regularly require students to complete a number of “chesed hours” in order to move up to the next grade or even to graduate. On the other hand, chesed requirements do generate acts of kindness that may not have happened otherwise. Also, students who are forced to do chesed might enjoy it and add more of their own.
These two viewpoints were being considered by the administrative team at Yeshivat Gog u’Magog. YGUM had required chesed hours for years, but felt it was time for a change. So, they eventually decided to move towards a Chesed Club model for the following year. Rabbi Perl, YGUM’s head of programming, spent the summer planning, so that to start the year, the YGUM Chesed Clubs were ready to roll.
As part of middle school orientation, the students were introduced to the new Chesed program. Students could choose from a variety of options (or a mixture of options) that would infuse their regular schedules with small and large acts of kindness. Students were also asked to nominate and vote on members for the Chesed Leadership Team—five students in total. After all the nominating and voting was completed, all five slots were filled, including that of Chesed Club Chair, which went to Gabe Greenberg.
With Rosh Hashanah early in the year, the Chesed Club didn’t have much time to get started. However, one initiative couldn’t wait—the Team for Welcoming and Inviting New Students. With an acronym like TWINS, the Leadership Team felt that appointing twins Juliet and Jeremy Jacobson was the best option. Juliet and Jeremy were happy to oblige. They got to work recruiting classmates to invite new students to eat lunch together, study after school, or just to hang out.
After one week, Juliet and Jeremy reported back that the team had successfully made seven or eight new students feel right at home. However, one student, Gilad Gross, just didn’t seem happy. Juliet and Jeremy were clearly frustrated. “I don’t get it!” exclaimed Jeremy. “We have done everything for Gilad! We bought lunch for him and four other students his age, arranged to get him invited to classmates’ homes, and made sure he was accepted into the after-school club of his choice!” Juliet nodded along and then chimed in. “The weirdest thing is that Gilad seemed so happy each time. Remember how he thanked us for lunch, and how much he said he enjoyed going to Nathan’s house? How is it that he says he still doesn’t feel included? I always see other students saying hello to him and he’s never alone at lunch or recess? What’s the deal?!”
Gabe listened carefully, but had no response once Juliet and Jeremy finished venting. Were some students being mean to Gilad? Was something going on at home? Was there anything else they could do? Maybe Gilad just wasn’t a happy person. But that’s not how Jeremy and Juliet described him? Gabe realized he was left with one option; he was going to have to speak to Gilad himself. It’s not as if Gabe had a problem talking to Gilad. Gabe was just concerned Gilad would take away from his time working on getting the other chesed projects moving. Nevertheless, Gabe knew it was what he had to do.
So, right before lunchtime officially began, Gabe headed directly to the cafeteria. He wanted to catch Gilad so he could talk with him alone. Gabe was sitting at a table facing the main doors when he saw Gilad walk in. Gilad entered while talking and laughing with two classmates, but when he saw Gabe, his smile faded (or did Gabe just imagine it?)
Not letting himself get discouraged, Gabe smiled and waved Gilad over. Gilad gave a confused “who me?” look, but when Gabe waved him over, Gilad walked towards Gabe with a huge smile on his face. Gilad sat down, but didn’t take out his lunch. “Hey Gilad,” began Gabe. “Just wanted to know how things have been so far at school.” Gilad beamed. “Amazing! The other students have been so welcoming and I have already made so many friends!” Gabe smiled back. “That’s great. If you ever need anything around here, I’m happy to help.” Gabe looked down to open his lunch, but by the time he looked up, Gilad was already on his feet and walking over to a table of his classmates. “Thanks Gabe!” called Gilad over his shoulder. “See you around!”
Later that day, Juliet caught Gabe in the hallway. “Gabe! Whatever you did or said to Gilad, it worked! He told me today that he feels 100% a part of YGUM! Great work!” Gabe shrugged and opened his mouth to reply, but Juliet didn’t give him a chance. “Way to go, Mister Popular! Using your popularity for good!” Immediately, Gabe understood, and from then on made sure to personally welcome each new student.
When someone contracts Tzara’at, he or she is required to quarantine or possibly leave the Jewish camp. This isolation can bring on a strong sense of loneliness and feeling excluded. However, the Torah tells us that a Metzora is visited by possibly the most important Jew, the Kohen Gadol. If he is not available, one of the other Kohanim takes his place. Why are the Kohanim in charge of deciding if a person has Tzara’at or not?
Perhaps the reason is that Kohanim are special, and in some ways the “most popular” Jews. This makes them the perfect candidates to raise the spirit of those feeling lonely. So if you are one of those people whom others look up to, or if you are one of those “popular kids,” remember to use your powers for good.
Yair Daar is the middle school dean of students at Yeshivat He’Atid. He can be reached at [email protected].
