NOTE: I apologize for not having mentioned in my previous article that the discourse between Yossie and Rifkah was not original. It has appeared many times over the years in various publications and I have often referred to it when giving seminars on marriage. I recently became aware that the author is noted humorist Dave Barry. I thought it was cute and true and that my readership would appreciate it. In the future I will definitely be more careful if and when I decide to quote anyone to give proper due credit to the author.
Who is in charge of your life? Obviously you. But is it so clear? For many years we have been hearing about obesity rates going up and up. Most people agree that they could lose some weight and many would do anything to lose weight. But no matter what they try, they seem to end up where they started – or worse. Some people so desperately want to lose weight, they will try almost anything.
Consider our governor. He seems to be driven to becoming president. One of many things that was getting in the way, was his weight. He tried to make light of it, to talk it down. But nothing worked. Despite his amazing success in raising money for many different candidates (what a great way to gain support, when the time comes), it doesn’t overcome his heavy weight problem. And so, after continued criticism, he finally acquiesced and underwent lap-band surgery in February, 2013. And it has worked – he lost in the area of 100 pounds. But lots of people can’t or won’t do something so extreme. But wait. I have a much more simple and very effective weight loss method. Even more impressive is that it works long term. Simply eat less! That’s all there is to it. And it works. If you consistently eat less, you will lose weight. And if you do it long term – you will remain on the thin side. That’s all there is to it. But virtually no one does that! Why? If they want to, often so much so that they are willing to spend a fair amount of money long term on diets that don’t work. They spend the money, and if they are really careful, they lose weight. But over 90% of them eventually gain it back – often more than they lost! Who is in charge of your weight? Who is stuffing the food into your mouth? What’s going on?
What about other things, related to life itself? Smoking is a good example. Why can’t we just say no? That’s what we were told some time ago. The risks and long term consequences are horrendous and virtually certain. So just stop! Who is putting the cigarette into your mouth and lighting it? Well, we are told that it’s because cigarettes are addictive. But how can Shomer Shabbos smokers stop every week for 25 hours and not feel any craving until the last hour or so? Why can’t they do it on Monday, Wednesday and Friday as well as Shabbos? Who is in charge of your body and your behavior?
Well, it turns out that YOU are the least important part of the process. It doesn’t matter how much you want to lose weight or stop smoking, or exercise. In the overwhelming majority of cases, you are not in charge! So are we just destined to do things that will kill us or cause us horrendous consequences, and all we can do is watch the terrible destruction? It certainly seems that way. My son-in-law’s brother, Dr Mark Eisenberg, recently published major research research that compared all the major weight loss programs – Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers and the Zone in the American Heart Association Journal, journal Circulation, Cardiovascular Quality and Outcome. And what he found is what everyone has been finding. After a year and in a few cases after two years most of any weight lost is regained and often, with some additional weight gain. The overall conclusion: Obesity Research Confirms Long Term Weight Loss Almost Impossible.
What does that leave us? Are we just cogs in a machine? Are we destined to watch what happens but have no say in the outcome? Animals just do what they are programmed to do. They don’t question, or wonder or are even aware. They just do what nature has set them up to do. But people DO question and wonder and try desperately to control the outcome, sometimes with unbelievable results (as in medicine and life span and communication and space exploration and travel and on and on). But why can’t we just lose a little weight? Stay tuned. We will discuss some fascinating ideas next week.
Please feel free to contact me regarding this (or any) topic. You can do so anonymously by writing to [email protected]
Dr. Glick was a clinical psychologist as well as rabbi of Congregation Ahavat Yisroel. If you would like to contact him for an appointment, you can do so by writing to him at [email protected] or calling him at 201-983-1532.
By Rabbi Doctor Mordechai Glick
