Teddy Roosevelt once said: Don’t focus on what you don’t have and don’t focus on what your friends do have. Focus instead on where you are, what you do well, and who you are in this very moment. Be thankful for that.”
How can a trip across the world and a cute pair of boots make you feel thankful?
Imagine not having parents or having parents who for whatever reason cannot take care of you. Imagine being taken from your home with nothing but the clothes on your back and brought into the court system where you have no idea where you are going to end up. You are scared, you are alone, and you are uncertain about what comes next.
But then something happens. You end up in a home on a quiet street on a hill in the beach town of Netanya in Israel. The home, Bayit V’Tikvah, has about 100 girls all with similar stories to yours. The girls understand what you are going through and share their own stories. You are taken care of by a loving staff and share a room with two other girls your age who become like family.
At Bayit V’Tikvah, you have access to therapies, classes, and clothing. You learn life skills and how to take care of yourself. You become a part of something and find a stable home, friends, and people who care. For most of us, this scenario is thankfully difficult to imagine, and even harder to comprehend, but this is the familiar story found at Bayit V’Tikveh.
This winter break, we were beyond lucky to visit Bayit V’Tikvah, meet the girls, and tour the facility. We were humbled by their kindness and impressed at how the facility is run. What was most memorable, though, was the joy and happiness exuded by the girls. As we walked in, they happily welcomed us, and with music blasting they grabbed our hands and led us into joyous dancing. All they wanted to do was celebrate our daughter’s upcoming bat mitzvah and show her how happy they were that Ayelet was visiting. What struck us most was that these girls, who have been through so much in their short lives, just wanted to make us happy and show us gratitude.
Rabbi Brian Thau, executive director of Bayit V’Tikvah, was excited to give us a tour. He first showed us a small trailer outside the home which is set up like a store, where the girls can “shop” for clothes, shoes, and jackets that have been purchased or donated. (Rabbi Thau actually mentioned that the clothing from the Yavneh fashion show was there.) When a girl needs new clothing, instead of feeling she is getting charity, she has a regular shopping experience. When I had reached out before our trip and offered to bring clothing for the girls, Rabbi Thau actually said he only wanted new or like-new clothes. After seeing the trailer/store and how much care and thought goes into it, I understood why. These girls, like all other girls, want new and pretty clothes.
A few weeks before our visit, when we were discussing logistics with Rabbi Thau, he said how cold it had gotten in Israel—which we can definitely attest to from our time there! He mentioned that the girls desperately needed boots, which we were happy to provide in honor of Ayelet’s bat mitzvah. But what was so amazing was when we got there every girl, beaming with joy and gratefulness, came up to us to show us their boots. The rabbi then said something that struck a chord. He said, “The boots were not only to help keep the cold out but they brought the warmth in.” They made the girls feel more comfortable at school, where the other girls come from homes where getting new boots each winter is just what is done, and not given a second thought. These boots made the girls feel good about themselves because they were cute and stylish, which we all know is so important at this age.
In our Bergen County world, it’s so easy for us to forget that there are many who are so much less fortunate. Having a bat mitzvah is a wonderful time for us to not only celebrate, but also pause and just be grateful for what we and our daughters are so lucky to have. Having a connection with the girls from Bayit V’Tikvah can help us and our daughters—especially at this special time in their lives—focus on what is truly important and enable us to have opportunities to give back. If we all take this time to open our eyes to those around us, acknowledge what we have, and give back to places such as Bayit V’Tikvah, we will actually gain so much more and start our girls on a lifelong journey as b’not mitzvah, focusing on chessed, being grateful for what they have, and helping to make the world a better place.
If you would like more information on Bayit V’Tikveh or are interested in a bat mitzvah project with them, please contact Rabbi Thau at [email protected]. He can help tailor a project to meet your needs and your daughter’s interests, to make the simcha more meaningful while helping these special young girls.
By Jamie Weiss
