The Bayit Association, which quite literally provides a home away from home for young adults from Northern New Jersey communities who have intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD), opened its first group home on Grayson Place in Teaneck on Dec. 15, 2024. Four young adults currently reside there, and a second Bayit Association home will soon begin construction.
The Bayit Association became a reality in 2021, when a group of parents with adult children with IDD were determined to create shomer Shabbat and shomer kashrut homes for their children, places that felt like home but had the proper care and support for their needs.
The Bayit Association opened its first home with the help of Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services; the house is entirely compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and follows all New Jersey licensing laws. This home, which Ohel operates, is one of Ohel’s first and biggest projects in its two years in New Jersey thus far. According to David Mandel, CEO of Ohel, interest in building homes for adults with disabilities in New Jersey began over two decades ago.
Upon visiting The Bayit’s Grayson home, it is abundantly clear that it is no average group home or facility. As Ohel Program Director Eli Skoczylas shared: “We have a strong focus on creating a home-like environment; we want it to feel like home [for the residents].” Each of the home’s residents picked out their own wall color and decor for their bedroom and is involved in the decision-making process of the home as much as possible. The residents help develop menus for Shabbat and chag meals and pick “Sunday Funday” activities, which range from block parties to visits to American Dream Mall to chilling on the couch, depending on the energy of the group on any particular day. This is crucial, said Skoczylas. “We want them to be involved in the process, because this is their house and this is their home.”
Izzy Friedman, Grayson house manager, added, “We want to make it as much of a home for them as it would be for anyone else.” The house has an open concept, with airy, wide spaces for the residents and staff to see and interact with each other as much as possible, “not just for staff to keep an eye out for the guys, but so the guys can see all that’s going on around them,” Friedman explained.
The house is equipped with a full room for medical equipment, a bedroom and a bathroom for each resident, and a full-coverage sprinkler system in case of fire. These features are not typical of a residential house, and, as Friedman said, “I’ve had people come in from different organizations and say verbatim: ‘I’ve never seen anything like this. This is amazing.’ It’s a huge sense of pride for us.” These details are crucial. Despite all of the added features and accommodations, the house looks just like any other Teaneck home, inside and out.
The Bayit Association and Ohel take particular pride in their staff, who always create a positive atmosphere in the home. Ohel provides constant training, both before and during their time working in the house. Friedman believes that “there’s always more to learn, more to review,” and that philosophy has been implemented in every aspect of the home. As Skoczylas explained: “We have three shifts a day. We have full-time and part-time staff. We have a full schedule. We have a variety of staff from all over. Everyone is qualified, kind and hardworking.”
Beyond the time the residents spend with their families on Shabbat and throughout the week, The Bayit Association encourages the home and the broader community to become a familial environment for its residents. “We try to give the guys as much of a family, as much of a group as well, because we want them to be comfortable and to know that you always have everything you need here,” Friedman shared.
Shabbat at the home is a production, a highlight of the week. “Planning can start as early in the week as possible. We want to make sure the guys give us input, and we like getting input from the parents, because as much as we love seeing them, their parents miss them too.” The Bayit staff are in the process of planning meals by neighbors and exciting activities for Shavuot. “It’s shaping up to be a good one, a real 12 out of 10 holiday,” Friedman said proudly.
The Jewish Link’s very own publisher, Moshe Kinderleherer, co-founded The Bayit Association and is also a parent of one of the Grayson home residents. “Things are going about as well as we could expect… we’ve been very happy, but of course, it’s never going to be perfect,” he said. “As both a parent and the co-founder, I love the weekday staff and I love the Shabbos staff, who are mostly college students from the area who go to YU or Touro. They imbue the home with a nice Shabbos atmosphere.”
Friedman added: “The college guys come and heighten all the holidays. You get the younger guys who have the experience and bring in that extra ruach you just can’t match, which is beautiful.”
Kinderlehrer continued: “We’re very proud of our relationship with Ohel. They’re operating the homes and we’re the landlord, and we’re in the process of developing other homes, as well, with additional news to come soon.” While Ohel renovates its home on Queen Anne Road, its residents are living in the yet-to-be-renovated Bayit Association home on Sussex, which will begin construction as soon as the Queen Anne home is ready.
Moving a child into a home like this comes with its challenges, but Kinderlehrer explained that it is also incredibly moving. “It’s not an easy transition, having your son move out of your house, especially a son who’s autistic and has special needs. We still sometimes worry whether we did the right thing or not. It sounds crazy, because I’ve been working on this for like five, six years. He’s doing things, he’s being exposed to different things that he wasn’t exposed to at home. But all in all, it’s been a wildly positive move for us as parents and also for us on the Bayit Association side.”
For the Kinderlehrers, this Shavuot will be the first time Zev is away from home. “We try hard to make sure our kids come to us for meals or davening,” Kinderlehrer shared. “Keeping that connection with them is both important for us as parents and their siblings, and also for our sons, for our boys. Yes, it’s different. It’s not the same as Yom Tov at home. But it’s not a bad thing, it’s just different.”
Friedman supported Kinderlehrer’s experience. “We give them another home, another place where they can love, another place where they can feel loved. We’re not taking away from their families and their homes.”
Ohel and The Bayit Association work together to provide resources for their residents beyond home and entertainment. Through Ohel, the residents receive job coaching and resume-building guidance as well as skill-learning stations at Ohel’s New Jersey office on Queen Anne Road. Ohel and The Bayit Association want everyone in the community, including those with IDD, to receive the tools and support they need to succeed. According to Adam Lancer, COO, Ohel is actively working to develop other housing opportunities in New Jersey, including in Passaic, Howell and Lakewood. Additionally, Ohel’s new Bergen County Regional Center on Queen Anne Road provides vocational, socialization and skill-building opportunities and services to many individuals who live in the community (with their families).
As Friedman explained: “This is a normal home, and it doesn’t matter what support the guys need. It’s guys living, guys with a full life, and we want this house to really reflect that. And I’m glad that we’re able to keep that going six months down the road, and six more months and so forth.”
To learn more about The Bayit Association or to donate, visit https://tinyurl.com/bayitnow. To learn more about Ohel, visit https://www.ohelfamily.org/.
Eliana Birman is the assistant digital editor for The Jewish Link. She is a rising sophomore at Barnard College and lives in Teaneck.
