Stamford rallies around Vuono family.

How much chesed fits inside a minute?

For Rabbi Daniel Cohen of Congregation Agudath Sholom in Stamford, a simple hello to a stranger nearly three years ago set off a ripple of kindness that continues to this day.

The story is one of potential, how the simplest of exchanges can change a life. On March 28, 2020, Mark Vuono, founder and co-owner of the family-run Marco Jewelers on Sixth Street in Stamford, was fatally shot during a violent robbery. The brutal crime made headlines and stunned the community, already reeling from the onset of a global pandemic. While the shop was shuttered for a police investigation, Vuono’s son, David, often came by to tidy up the entryway, sometimes coinciding with Rabbi Cohen’s visits to a nearby Starbucks.

The two men would nod to each other until eventually, Rabbi Cohen stopped to talk. “He introduced himself and expressed condolences and concern for our family, and I said I would introduce him to my mom,” David Vuono recalled. “A few days later, when I was leaving the store, he was walking by and I told him that my mom, Annie, was inside and would like to meet him. Ever since then, Rabbi Cohen has been somebody who brings healing words, kindness and comfort to my mom.”

“You always have these moments in life where you think about doing something, but then you ask yourself, ‘Should I actually do it?’” said Rabbi Cohen, who visited Annie Vuono in the store with his wife, Diane. “Just talking to him brought me peace in the middle of very much sadness,” Annie Vuono said.

Just a couple of weeks earlier, when most people were in lockdown, Rabbi Cohen had launched the Making Mitzvah Moments WhatsApp group as a way to help coordinate delivery of groceries, prescriptions and Shabbat challot to homebound seniors. He mobilized the WhatsApp group. “We generated a flash mob of kindness to really give Annie comfort and let her know that we were there for her,” the rabbi said. “I asked that whoever was available, just go to the store and flood it with light.”

Annie Vuono was overwhelmed by the show of kindness. “I never expected it, but everybody from the Jewish community has also comforted me,” she said. “There was a little girl who came in with her mother and she brought me flowers wrapped in aluminum foil and she said, ‘I picked these from my garden.’ That thoughtfulness from a little girl was life at its best.”

The widow has turned to Rabbi Cohen during the most difficult moments of her journey. She has met with him at Agudath Sholom—the first time she has ever been inside a synagogue—and connected with him at significant times. “I met him at Beldotti’s the day before I had a memorial mass for my husband, and just seeing him and talking with him was a joy,” she recalled. “Last year, on January 16th, my husband would have turned 70 and I was feeling very, very depressed, and when I went to my Instagram, it just so happened that Rabbi Cohen had posted that he was in Jerusalem. Even though he was not here, he was present and his words were so meaningful.”

Annie Vuono emailed the rabbi that the kindness of the Jewish community had restored her faith in humanity. “After seeing her husband murdered, we showed her that there are still a lot of good people out there, healing her world of darkness, not by trying to wipe out the darkness, but by adding more light,” Rabbi Cohen said. “She really feels like our community and I are there for her and give her a lot of spiritual comfort and strength. Every time somebody from the Jewish community comes to the store, Annie, to her credit, never forgets that kindness.”

For her part, Annie Vuono performed her own act of kindness. In December, Rabbi Cohen came to the jewelry store with his daughter, Michal Cohen Zwiren, and infant granddaughter Ruthie. It was the baby’s first-ever outing and the destination was especially significant.

“I talk a lot about the power of memories and the ones we create,” Rabbi Cohen said. “For our first stop, we decided to give a little bit of comfort to Annie and I told her that. She said, ‘Just seeing your daughter and granddaughter—here is another affirmation of what I try to do, to find more life in my life.’ Annie gave Ruthie a chai necklace. It was very meaningful.”

“I know the Catholic symbols and I have a few Jewish symbols in the store like the chai, but I never really knew the meaning of it,” Annie Vuono said. “To me it was a perfect gift because it’s a celebration of life. The little charm now has a lot more meaning.”

On that same day, Assistant Chief Richard Conklin of the Stamford Police Department announced the successful conviction of the two co-conspirators in the murder of Mark Vuono.

“In a very small but significant way, these little acts really do make a difference in somebody’s life,” Rabbi Cohen said. “Imagine if I had chosen not to say hello to Annie’s son; none of this would have happened. I would have seen the family’s tragedy and thought, ‘OK, it’s somebody else in the community,’ but the Jewish approach is to try to see the face of God in every human being and to understand that if somebody comes into your orbit, God put him there for a reason.

“And then it’s my responsibility to try to unleash something eternal in that moment and to share that light with the community. I said, ‘Let me see if there’s something I can do,’ and thank God, the Stamford community is very receptive to trying to realize their potential when it comes to doing these acts of kindness. The Making Mitzvah Moments WhatsApp group continues to be a resource—almost three years later.”

The lesson of Rabbi Cohen’s decision in April 2020 is pretty simple. “We have a lot more time than we think,” he said. “How long does it take to say hello to somebody and then to send out a note encouraging people to do a mitzvah—three minutes of your life? Everybody has time; it’s just a matter of what your priorities are.”

Annie Vuono learned a new word that expresses her experience with Rabbi Cohen—bashert. “Life gives us opportunities that we don’t expect but I always feel that we are surrounded by good souls,” she said. “For whatever reason, life was meant to bring Rabbi Cohen as my comfort and at the most crucial times, he’s always there. It’s meant to be; it’s bashert.”

By Cynthia Mindell