Years ago, I began my career teaching in a special-ed program of a yeshiva boys’ high school. I always remember fondly the moment when one student spoke up defiantly in class as another boy spoke negatively about him. Before I could even respond to what was transpiring, the student said “Rabbi! Rabbi Akiva taught that the entire Torah is defined by Veahavta Lereacha Kamocha!—everything else is just details!” This student’s message and lesson was clear; if we don’t ground ourselves in proper respect for others, we cannot possibly acquire and internalize Torah. We must focus regularly on refining our character traits and sustaining positive relationships. This lesson is reinforced by a story about the great Gaon of Vilna.
One day, when the Vilna Gaon was just a little boy, he went outside to play with some of his friends. As they began to play on a seesaw, little Eliyahu observed that when one of his friends would go up on the seesaw, the other would obviously go down. Upon grasping this phenomenon, the Gaon left his friends and went back inside his home. When his father saw him come back inside the house, he asked him why he was not playing with his friends. Young Eliyahu responded that the Torah obligates us in the mitzvah of Veahavta Lereacha Kamocha, we must love our neighbor as ourselves; “How can I possibly lift myself up by pushing my friend down?”
At a young age, the Vilna Gaon understood the importance of concern for other people, and the delicate balance of one’s own personal interjection into the equation of friendship. We are challenged each day with caring for others. This period of Sefira is spent focusing on the way in which we treat our fellow Jews. We must not allow ourselves to be elevated by virtue of putting someone else down. Often, the desire for this type of behavior stems from a lack of self-esteem. If we truly feel good about ourselves, then we can be elevated by watching others succeed and be elevated as well.
By Rabbi Eliezer Zwickler
Rabbi Eliezer Zwickler is senior rabbi of Congregation AABJ&D in West Orange, and a licensed clinical social worker in private practice. Rabbi Zwickler can be reached at [email protected].
