Recently, an older gentleman, Yossi, moved to town and was already known by quite a number of people. Although not usually one to make conversation with someone I don’t know, I decided to overcome my “fear” and welcome Yossi to our shul. I am so glad I did — he is very personable and we now enjoy “schmoozing” after minyan.
One Sunday afternoon, I met Yossi in a different location. It looked like he was talking to someone else so I nodded in his direction and continued walking. It was then that I heard him say in a loud voice, “He said hello to me.” When I turned around, I saw that there was no longer anyone near him and that the last comment was directed at me. I had no idea what he was talking about. When I asked him what he meant, this is what he told me:
“Since I moved to town, I have seen you come to shul with your children. I especially noticed Shaul — how could I not?! He is well over six feet and walks around the shul talking to no one in particular and constantly looking for lollipops from the candyman. What I also took note of is that he only shakes certain people’s hands. I tried to see what these people had in common. You see, it is clear that this young man has a very special neshama and it would be my honor and privilege to have my hand shaken by him.
“I decided that I would start saying good Shabbos to him and see if that had any effect. It certainly looked like this was not the ticket since I received no reaction from him whatsoever. I persisted; I was not going to give up so easily. Finally, yesterday, I said good Shabbos to him again and this time he responded. Not only did he say good Shabbos back (or something that resembled those words), but he also put out his hand to shake mine. I can’t believe he considered me worthy of his time. You see, I noticed that there are many people he doesn’t even acknowledge as being present; it’s only a rare few. I am now on that extremely short list!!! I feel so honored!”
Yossi continued, “Also, does your son Avigdor work behind the counter in one of the local eateries? Yes? I thought that was him. My wife and I almost never go out to eat but we did just the other day. It was so nice to see your son working hard and responding like such a mensch to us and to the other customers. I took the time to watch him in action. Although it is clear that he finds the job challenging, he is doing his best and being courteous in the process. I must tell him the next time I see him.”
I was so touched by this exchange. I thanked Yossi so much for taking the time to share all of this with me. How wonderful for a parent to hear positive feedback about his children, especially about those who find social situations difficult to navigate!
In response, he said to me, “Well, it’s obvious why Hashem entrusted you with these wonderful neshamas; in the time I have known you, I have never seen that smile leave your face. Hashem certainly knew what he was doing when he gave them to you!”
What a beautiful thing to say to a person! But wait, the story doesn’t end there. The next Shabbos, Shaul and I were about to walk into shul when Yossi was walking out. I had already passed him when I heard him say to Shaul, “צדיק בא לעיר”. I turned around and he was extending his hand and giving Shaul a hearty handshake.
I don’t know to whom he was referring to, Shaul or himself. What a gift to our community to have someone move in and immediately zero in on those who need the attention the most — even though they don’t know how to ask for it. A tzaddik has certainly come to our city.
Rabbi Yehuda Minchenberg is a fifth-grade rebbe during the school year and teaches Torah at Camp Regesh during the summer. At home, he (together with his wife, Laurie), is the parent of six children, four of whom have varying special needs.
